Dream Interpretation – 2

“I feel like we’ve been through this before.”

This situation gives me a sense of déjà vu. Clearly, the last time as well, Seol-ah and I were having a nice conversation until the end when we parted ways, unable to understand each other’s thoughts. I don’t want that kind of ending again.

“Yes. The difference this time is that I’m choosing dialogue instead of running away. Tell me. Why don’t you want to go back?”

Seol-ah was serious. Serious and calm. Instead of running away because we couldn’t understand each other, like last time, she chose to talk.

Nevertheless, her expression showed that she absolutely couldn’t understand why I wanted to stay in this world. That made it more difficult. Because I don’t know why I want to stay either. I just didn’t have any desire to return to Earth. To be precise, it’s not that I want to stay in this world, but that I don’t want to return to Earth. I don’t know why either. I’m perplexed too. I’m not a child; how can I have emotions without reasons?

Even if this world has brought me wealth, honor, and beauty, I lived on Earth for over 20 years. Could my thoughts have changed so drastically just three months after coming to this world? Leaving behind my family and, though few, my friends? That can’t be. And indeed, Seol-ah’s expression shows she doesn’t understand me at all.

The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Seol-ah, who was about to press for my answer, seemed to notice my confused expression and closed her mouth.

“I also, I also don’t know. It’s not that I want to stay here; I just don’t want to go back. I definitely think about wanting to see my family and friends, but…”

“Then let’s stop this conversation here.”

Seol-ah listened to my words and cleanly gave up. I was surprised. This is Seol-ah who wanted to go home. We’ve found a clue to return to Earth, but she’s stopping this conversation because I don’t want to go. Moreover, I don’t even have a special reason. I’m just saying I don’t want to go, like a child throwing a tantrum. Guilt slowly reared its head.

“Don’t make that face. It’s not like I alone can follow the content from the dream anyway.”

“That’s even more of a reason.”

“It would be wrong to forcibly hold onto someone who doesn’t want to go back and try to return together. Besides, I’ve caused you trouble by going overboard before. This isn’t an urgent matter, so let’s think about it slowly.”

At her words, I opened my mouth wide. This warm, embracing feeling is almost like…

“Mom?”

“Are you crazy?! Who are you calling mom! Call me noona, not mom!”

Seol-ah was astonished at my words. The generous atmosphere from just a moment ago shattered completely.

“It’s a joke, a joke. You just suddenly seemed very mature.”

I didn’t notice when we first met, but has there been a change in her mindset since the kidnapping? The influence of Lily has completely disappeared too. Right now, it feels like I’m really talking to an adult. Even though there’s only a two-year age difference, the gap between a college student and a working adult seems this big.

“There’s only a two-year age difference between us. If you’re going to call me something, call me noona, not mom. Try it now. Say, ‘Seol-ah noona.'”

“Seol-ah-ssi.”

“You just won’t call me noona even if you’re dying.”

She grumbled. It’s not that calling her noona is difficult, but there’s a slight sense of resistance, how should I put it? After all, Mikhail and Lily are the same age. Besides, if I change the address to noona here, the psychological hurdle might become too low. Honestly, it feels a bit risky even now.

“Going back to the main point, no matter how much I alone whine about wanting to go back, nothing will happen, right? So I’ll have to take my time and try to persuade you diligently.”

“Persuade?”

“Or should I say seduce?”

Her gaze turned provocative. For a moment, my body froze. I felt like a frog in front of a snake.

“Seol-ah-ssi. Honestly, you’re lying about being forever alone on Earth, right?”

No matter how I think about it, it’s a lie. The her I saw in the dream was someone who could never have been forever alone until the age of 25 with that appearance. Moreover, from what I see now, she’s not particularly shy either. Considering how she sometimes behaves, wasn’t she rather proactive?

“Damn it. I really was forever alone!”

“How can I believe that? You know sometimes you lick your lips or look at me like you’re going to devour me?”

Whenever Seol-ah does that, a pure man like me freezes. She seemed furious at my suspicion, pounding her chest and expressing her grievance. But isn’t it a bit funny to get angry about being forever alone? It’s not even something to brag about.

“I went to all-girls middle and high schools, and after being ‘marketed’ by a friend in my freshman year of university, I just read romance fantasy all the time. What romance?”

“Okay, okay. I’ll believe you. Isn’t it a compliment to say you don’t seem like you’d be forever alone? Why are you so angry?”

“It’s frustrating enough to have been alone for 25 years, but hearing that I seemed to have dated when I haven’t makes me feel wronged. You’re the first person I’ve ever liked!”

She shouted and then quickly covered her mouth. Again, she comes in suddenly like this. I felt embarrassed at Seol-ah’s unexpected statement. Hearing someone say they like you is more embarrassing than I thought. This is why they say not to do public confessions. It’s even more burdensome since I can’t reciprocate her feelings.

I tried to diffuse the situation with a joke as naturally as possible.

“I’m sorry. I’ll really believe you. Seol-ah-ssi is forever alone—should I chant it three times?”

“Don’t.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Thankfully, she laughed at my joke.

Cordelia had been in a very good mood for the past few days. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say she felt like she could fly. There was no special reason for it. It wasn’t that the next volume of the romance novel she’d been waiting for was released, nor had she made remarkable progress in her training.

She simply had new friends. Yet, just that alone made her this happy. Cordelia herself was amazed. Of course, Hestia still ranked first in her heart, but these new friends she made after nearly 10 years provided her with an exhilarating stimulation.

Moreover, they were women born into knight families, aspiring to become knights despite being female. Aren’t they just like the protagonist from “Female Knight and the Wolves,” Cordelia’s most beloved novel! Cordelia herself, due to family issues and such, was just trying to get a sense of that feeling while attending the Academy by taking swordsmanship classes and joining the equestrian club. But these girls were truly destined to become female knights.

In that sense, Cordelia was very satisfied with becoming their friend. She thought of Mikhail, who had naturally connected her with them—actually, it wasn’t even a connection, he just approached them.

‘Why did he help me like this when he doesn’t have friends himself?’

Cordelia pondered. In fact, she didn’t know that for Mikhail, approaching unfamiliar girls, speaking to them, and then smoothly backing out was an incredibly simple task, hardly worthy of being called help. Because while it was a simple task for Mikhail, for her, it was like leaping over a thick, high wall.

Cordelia’s thoughts continued to flow. Come to think of it, she had been receiving help from him since they first met. It was Mikhail who stopped her from crossing the line of violence on the night of the Eve Party, and it was also Mikhail who stepped forward when she was about to have her Academy admission canceled. Although she hated to admit it, as he had said, it was Mikhail who first approached her when she was attending classes alone without friends, and it was Mikhail who helped her make new friends.

‘Wait, have I really only been receiving from Mikhail?’

After much contemplation, Cordelia realized she hadn’t done anything for him. If pressed, perhaps lending him “Female Knight and the Wolves” would count. Why do we continue to be close? In fact, an ordinary person would have avoided being entangled with her after she caused a commotion at the Eve Party. Even though she was his fiancée’s friend, he could have kept his distance if he wanted to.

From Mikhail’s perspective, he naturally helped her because she was his fiancée’s friend and also someone he considered a friend, but for Cordelia, who had lived her entire life in an extremely narrow social circle, it was impossible to imagine this fact.

“Perhaps he likes Lady Cordelia?”

After much deliberation, Cordelia sought out her newly-made female knight (aspiring) friends. For someone who didn’t have many people to consult with on such matters, this was natural. She couldn’t ask Mikhail himself or Hestia, could she?

“I told you before. Mikhail is single-heartedly devoted to Hestia.”

Cordelia frowned. Perhaps because they were still schoolgirls at heart despite being aspiring female knights, they immediately tried to link it to romance. Cordelia was incredulous. Seeing how Mikhail treats Hestia, such words seemed impossible.

“How much does Mikhail cherish Hestia? He always wants to be with her, and his compliments—’pretty,’ ‘kind,’ ‘cute’—are endless.”

“Lady Cordelia, you’re missing the big picture.”

One of the female knights (aspiring) stepped forward, clicking her tongue. As the only one among the five who enjoyed romance novels, she was a friend who conversed well with Cordelia.

“Men are typically unable to be honest with the women they like.”

“That makes sense!”

Others around her agreed with her opinion. With her confidence boosted, she began giving unfounded advice based solely on her experience of reading romance novels, despite having no experience with men herself. Unfortunately, since none of them had proper experience with men, her advice, deemed plausible, gained confirmation bias and began to spin wildly out of control.

Cordelia’s thin ears twitched. Could it really be true? Numerous romance novels she had read flashed through her mind. Among them, there were certainly so-called tsundere male protagonists. Although Cordelia didn’t know the term “tsundere,” the concept of a male protagonist who couldn’t be honest, acted harshly without reason, and played hard to get was consistent.

“No way!”

Cordelia shouted. She was suddenly overwhelmed by an indescribable emotion. A strange sensation that was somewhat heart-pounding and aching. Mikhail likes me? Honestly, if asked whether she liked or disliked him, it would be closer to like, but she had never thought of him in that way.

Once she started thinking that way, everything fell into place: him standing up for her at the Eve Party, constantly playing mischievous pranks on her, staying friends with her, helping her make friends—it all fit perfectly.

Cordelia recalled when Mikhail had complimented her. He said she was tall, had beautiful red hair, was pure, and knew how to care for her friends, didn’t he? At the time, she had brushed it off in anger, but it seemed too detailed to have been made up on the spot. Moreover, though it felt a bit strange to admit, they were words that accurately described Cordelia herself.

Could Mikhail really be seeing her that way? He might have unconsciously confessed and then, embarrassed, passed it off as a joke. No, it’s almost certain. Cordelia’s face flushed as she recalled those compliments.

‘What should I do?’

She didn’t dislike Mikhail, but she didn’t want to steal him from her best friend to the extent of driving a nail through her heart. Though Hestia wasn’t deeply in love with Mikhail yet, Cordelia could tell she was gradually opening her heart. In her mind, Mikhail was already a male protagonist whose heart was wavering because of her.

‘Staying like this will hurt both of us.’

After a long and serious contemplation, Cordelia reached a conclusion. For the sake of the unsuspecting Hestia and the confused Mikhail, she needed to take a definite stance. By now, the squeals of those around her had become inaudible to Cordelia. She decided not to get any closer to Mikhail. Such a relationship could only hurt herself, Hestia, and Mikhail. She had become deeply immersed in the role of a protagonist in a love triangle drama.

“Lady Deneb, hello.”

“…”

And so, for a reason that Mikhail could never know—and even if he did know, would jump in disbelief at its absurdity—Cordelia’s distancing began.