I’m Sorry-4

The first thing seen at birth was someone’s face.

Soft cheeks with white hair. A hesitating mouth.

It didn’t take long to understand who it was.

It was a girl who was both someone else and herself. No, perhaps from the moment she went outside, she became a different being.

Unlike herself who was still trapped here.

“Now, press it.”

The girl’s shoulders shrank.

The stern-faced man spoke.

“Come on, hurry. You’ve already done it many times. It won’t be any different now.”

“…Yes.”

With a whooshing sound, the water in the tank next to her disappears.

She was greatly surprised by the sight that followed.

‘Death…’

Perhaps that’s the concept of death.

Something so terrible that even a child who had just awakened could understand.

The child trembled with fear.

That was all she could do.

Watching her turn slowly come was the best she could do.

Finally, the man stopped in front of her.

“…Hmm? Ah, I see another one has opened its eyes.”

“Ah… that’s good…”

Can I live?

The child could finally feel relief.

Unlike the other children who had died, she had her eyes wide open.

See, they’re making eye contact right now.

She can live.

Just born, she can’t meet a miserable death-

“You’re out of luck.”

…What?

“Two is enough. Unfortunately, you’re the third. If you had opened your eyes a little earlier, you might have survived.”

“…”

“It’s a bronze medal, but… well, it can’t be helped.”

Swoosh.

At the man’s eye signal, the hesitating girl moves her hand.

It was the red button she had seen far too many times.

No.

“Press it.”

“…Uhhh…”

“Come now, hurry. Originally, life is about struggle and fighting. We can’t worry about the losers who lost that.”

Don’t do it-

“…I’m sorry.”

Press.

“I’m really sorry…”

Ah-

The sound of water was heard.

It was the sound of a small world disappearing.

It was also the sound announcing the end of a short life.

Death within tens of minutes of opening her eyes in this narrow place. That was the brief record this child left after being born into the world.

…It had to be that way.

“…Ugh… uhh…”

Squelch.

“I… didn’t… die…?”

The child’s body moved while melting.

Sadly, the magic circuit inside the child’s body reacted and went berserk, transforming her into a monster.

The same went for the other children.

“Ugh… ahhh…”

“Hurts… don’t like…”

They all stand up making strange noises.

Due to melting, their joints twist and bend.

But they don’t feel pain.

It’s strange.

They should be in pain.

What are we, who can’t feel pain?

It hurts.

It’s painful.

It’s lonely.

‘Anyone will do… us-‘

Just as they were desperately wishing in their hearts, the door flung open.

“What’s this commotion-“

“Uhhhhh…”

“What…? Monsters? Tsk, should I have cleared them sooner? …No, never mind. It’s a building I’m going to discard anyway, let them use it.”

“Uh… ah…?”

“You’ll live like that forever. Failures.”

It’s the man who made us like this.

“Ah… ah…”

“Hmm?”

One of the children walks.

No.

Since her feet were melted and wobbly, it would be more correct to say she crawled.

“Fah…ther…”

“Tsk… disgusting.”

Whack!

The one hit by the man’s fist tumbles.

“Me too…”

“Me tooo…”

“Kugh… even so, there are too many… it’s a shame I can’t pack my stuff… I should just leave.”

He wiped his hands with a handkerchief, turned around, and disappeared somewhere.

“Are you… okay…?”

The child approached the one lying on the floor, the one who had been hit.

That one.

“Hehe… a person’s hand is… so warm…”

Was smiling.

“…”

The words got stuck.

‘I see.’

In the end, what they wanted was.

Just someone’s warmth.

Even if it came in the form of a fleeting violence.

That very brief moment when flesh touched flesh felt good.

.

.

.

.

.

.

How much time had passed?

Eating moss, and occasionally, if lucky, feasting on insects as a special treat.

How long had such days continued?

The third child who awakened was suffering.

If only she could be unconscious like the others.

The child couldn’t.

She was an in-between life.

An in-between being who could live neither as a human nor as a monster.

‘I wish… I could die…’

That day too, she fell asleep like that.

Trudge, trudge.

There was a sound.

Suddenly, waking from sleep, she heard a different sound after a long time.

Not the sticky sound of mucus, but the sound of cautious footsteps.

She turned her gaze toward the sound.

A man and two women who resembled us.

The man… wasn’t the man from that day. He was taller and had a more slender appearance.

One of the children approached them.

It was the child who usually craved affection the most.

‘No. You’ll be killed.’

As if to represent that feeling, the woman who had transformed with pink hair tightly clenched her fist.

Squeeze!

She closed her eyes.

This was her destined fate after all.

A monster who would simply be exterminated without ever feeling human warmth.

It’s just like that time.

Waiting for death.

‘…No.’

Now is different from then.

The world is ultimately a survival competition.

If you don’t kill.

“I’ll… kill…”

I’m tired of being the victim.

I’m sick of the damp floor, of surviving on moss.

I’ll become a predator.

I’ll eat humans and grow stronger, and someday, out of this cursed place-

“Hey! Children who want to play with dolls, gather here!!”

…Huh?

“Noah, you play with the kids who want to play with dolls. Demon King, you play with the kids who want to play ball. Got it?”

“Yes!”

“I understand!”

They suddenly started moving busily.

The bigger one carried dolls and started playing with some children.

The smaller one began playing by throwing and catching a ball.

‘What is this?’

The man looked fondly at the children who had started playing, then took something out.

He started cooking the things in the bag, and the smell of food spread throughout the basement that was full of mold.

‘I’m hungry…’

Come to think of it, it was a week ago that I last ate moss.

The man said.

“Hmm? Want to try eating?”

It was to the child who had received the doll earlier.

That child nodded and opened his mouth wide.

“Here, it’s hot- um, no, it should be fine. First dumpling of your life, coming in!”

“…Mmmm… ugh… mm!”

“Is it good? Give me more!”

“Uh… yes!”

One, two.

The thing called a dumpling disappears into his mouth.

It was perhaps when it passed the fifth one.

Plop.

A purple bead fell to the floor.

It was what had been embedded in his forehead.

Starting with that, he began to melt.

“…Hehe…”

He completely disappeared with a rosy smile.

The third child who awakened couldn’t help but be confused.

One friend had disappeared.

He was someone who cried alone every day.

The one who was lonelier than anyone disappeared more happily than anyone. With his arms tightly hugging the doll he had received earlier.

What on earth is that?

Is it tastier than the snails they occasionally ate as a special treat?

“Ugh… aah…”

“What? You want to eat too?”

Nod, nod.

“Here, ahh~”

“…Ahh…”

Normally, she wouldn’t have eaten it.

But unfortunately, her brain that hadn’t fully developed lost to instinct.

“…!”

“Delicious, right?”

“Ugh… yes…!”

She nodded eagerly.

“Good! Eat a lot!”

“Mmm hmm!”

After that, she was eagerly eating dumplings when-

“What are you doing! Several children have disappeared, and we’re short on people!”

“Ugh…?”

“Perhaps, do you like basketball?”

After playing a strange ball game-

“This is the mom role, and this is the younger sibling role.”

“Mm-mama…? Youn…ger… si…bling!”

“Sibling. Yes, well done. So this is a gift.”

“Ugh… thank… you…”

She even received a cute rabbit doll as a gift.

Then, while wandering around for a while.

“What are you doing alone, you!”

“Ughah…!?”

“There’s still a lot left. This time it’s sausage. Try it.”

She eats delicious food while being carried on the man’s back.

‘…It’s warm.’

The first warm food she had ever tasted in her life.

The first warm doll she had ever hugged in her life.

Everything seemed so unbelievable.

‘…Maybe I can die now…’

Such thoughts even come to mind.

Looking around, no one is there.

Only purple beads rolling on the floor exist.

“You greedy one. Is there anything else you want to do?”

“…”

“Tell me.”

The man approached with a smile.

He seemed willing to do anything.

The third child thought hard and recalled.

The wish that the child who was hit and flew away wanted.

What that child had wanted.

“Hug…”

“Hmm?”

The third child spread her arms wide.

“Hug… me… please…?”

“You want me… to hug you?”

Nod.

“…As much as you want.”

The man came close and bent down.

His blue pupils and the child’s melted purple pupils face each other.

And then.

“Child.”

“Uhh…”

“I’m sorry. For this world being like this, for not being able to prevent the world from becoming like this.”

He hugged the child tightly.

Honestly, she couldn’t understand what he was saying, but one thing was certain.

The man was sincere, and warm.

“I’ll sincerely pray. That you’ll be happy someday.”

“…Thank…you…”

“…For what…”

“Warm…”

“…”

Then goodbye.

Thank you.

“…Hehe…”

People who made her cold life warm at the end.

+++++

“Good…bye… thank…you…”

The monster smiles at me.

“Thank… you…”

Smiling again and again, saying thank you again and again.

The body I’m holding is slowly melting.

The volume of the child in my arms gradually decreases.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

And finally, nothing remains in my arms.

“…”

Maybe this child could have become Noah.

Maybe she could have become the Demon King.

It’s just chance.

It’s just fate.

It’s just a cruel world.

And I think I’ll never forgive the one who created this cruel world.

“…Mister?”

“…Phew, she’s gone.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, well… maybe?”

Actually, not at all.

‘…Tsk, what is this. Feeling uneasy.’

An inexplicable sense of guilt wraps around my heart.

There was no way to save these children.

Children who have already transformed into monsters are just monsters. And what I just did was just a strategy to eliminate them.

But.

“…Sigh.”

My insides are churning.

It’s all because of that damn rabbit bastard.

That son of a bitch.

“Mister, are you really okay?”

But I’m an adult.

Being an adult means I have to think even about getting angry.

Ah, being an adult is hard.

“…Yes. Noah, can you clean up here? I’ll look around a bit.”

“Yes. Take your time.”

“I’ll be back.”

I got up and moved.

My destination is his workshop.

It’s the place he pointed to before he ascended to Buddha-hood.

Bang!

I kicked the door open.

There are plenty of rusty and abandoned computers and books everywhere.

I fixed my gaze on one spot.

“Kkomul-i.”

“Yes?”

“Can you get in there?”

“Hmm… I think I can.”

I pointed to the gap in the safe to Kkomul-i, who had been resting until now.

‘So it was here after all.’

In the game, that place was secretive.

A safe so hard that even Iris’s iron fist couldn’t break it.

But now there’s no need to break it.

Because Kkomul-i can go in.

It’s a gap just wide enough for a sheet of paper to pass through, but Kkomul-i can dissolve his body.

“Shall I go?”

“Please.”

“Yes.”

Kkomul-i crawls into the safe. Soon, he starts throwing papers out.

“Kkomul-i, what’s this?”

“It looks like a diary! I’m doing it in order, so please organize them!”

“Okay.”

Swoosh.

It seemed to be a diary written by him.

Why did he leave it behind?

Was he unable to pack it because monsters suddenly stormed in?

“…It’s not for me to worry about.”

After all the papers were thrown out, a fairly thick notebook emerged.

“Let’s take a look. What was this bastard thinking when he did all this crap?”

I collected them in order and started reading slowly, then stopped breathing.

“This… this bastard…”

Because there was content written in it that I simply couldn’t forgive.