episode_0251

I want to have a child.

This is a thought that came to me after meeting Hermel again. This is a thought that grew as I spent more time with Hermel.

No, that idea is still ongoing and growing.

anyway. That’s not important now. Let’s stop thinking about random things.

We looked at each other in silence for a while and then quietly looked down at the pregnant mouse several times.

My anxiety reached its peak and I felt uncomfortable just sitting here, so I lowered my head and chewed my lip, feeling like I was going to vomit.

“… … .”

… I know very well that it is strange for me, a man, to think that I want to have children.

But what can I do if I have those thoughts and feelings when I’m with Hermel?

No matter how much I am, I cannot control and control my entire mind. Because I am also human first. There are some things that cannot be helped.

And if I had been able to control my emotions and mind, I probably wouldn’t have had this relationship with Hermel. He probably spent his whole life wandering the world, living and dying like a ghost.

But now that I think about it, I think I should just leave those thoughts and feelings as thoughts. I should have just held it in my heart. Isn’t this what happened when I revealed it for no reason?

At that time, I believed that Hermel would be okay, but at the same time, anxiety kept rearing its head and I felt like I was going crazy.

“So… . Are you saying that you did that with a female and had a child?”

Hermel’s voice as he cautiously opens his mouth is truly fortunate. It did not contain any negative emotions such as contempt, bad mood, irritation, or anger.

All that was contained was pure doubt, surprise, and a little bit of anticipation and excitement.

The feeling of holding a bomb that might explode at any moment disappeared like a lie, and relief came in like a wave and swept me away.

“Haaa… .”

When I felt my body relax, Hermel got up in surprise and ran to my side.

“Are you okay!?”

“Ahaha… . As I relaxed a little, my body also lost strength. You don’t have to worry too much… .”

“I can’t believe the tension has eased… . Was it something to be that nervous about? Or is there something I don’t know about?”

I smiled weakly and shook my head at the cute sight of her wide-open eyes blinking.

“That… . I was worried that Hermel would be offended, but when I found out that it wasn’t the case at all, I relaxed.”

“You feel bad? Why did you think I would do that?”

“Even if it was in the past, if a person who was once a man wanted to have children and did research like this, wouldn’t anyone think that way… . Just because of that vague anxiety… .”

I trailed off and glanced at Hermel, who snorted with an expression of exasperation, frowned, and grabbed both of my cheeks, stretching them out.

“Hey… . aha… .”

“You’re saying it hurts, you idiot.”

“Uuuu… .”

Hermel, who was rubbing and pulling my cheek until tears came out, cupped the cheek he had been massaging for a while with his hand and bumped his forehead against mine.

It didn’t hurt at all as I was just tapping my forehead with my finger. As I blinked at the warm feeling, Hermel hugged me tightly.

“If I thought I would dislike Charles because of something like this, I wouldn’t have liked him either.”

“… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Because everyone is awkward at first. Because it’s my first time… . It feels good to think about it. Hehe.”

“Fuhu… . What is that.”

As I said this with a chuckle, Hermel kissed my cheek and said,

“I’m saying it’s okay whether Charles is a man or a woman. Because I like Charles as a person. So don’t worry about that.”

“Hermel… .”

“Well, if you’re really worried, tell me first. I’ll solve it.”

“How will you solve it?”

“Um… . ‘It’s okay’, ‘Okay’, ‘Charles do whatever you want’, ‘I’ll trust you’, and there are many more. Shall I tell you everything?”

I smiled and shook my head as he spoke while folding his fingers calmly.

“I’ll save it for later.”

“If Charles says so.”

Hermel said that and walked away from me and sat down right next to me.

“Okay. Have you calmed down now?”

“Thank you.”

“Thank goodness.”

Hermel must have liked my answer, as he half-leaned on the table and looked at me with his chin resting.

“Then now we can talk about what we were talking about before.”

“That’s right. hmm. But I think it would be too long to talk about everything. If Hermel tells you which part concerns you, let’s answer there.”

“Hmm. If you say so… . All I can say is ask you to tell me everything from beginning to end. I’m good at using my body, but I’m not very good at using my head.”

“It’s not that you can’t do it, it’s that you don’t do it, right?”

“That’s right. Ever since I realized that if my body is weak, my brain suffers, I’ve been living like that.”

Seeing him shake his head and say this, I smiled bitterly and shook my head.

“I can’t help it. Then I will summarize it appropriately. If there is anything that bothers you, please let me know.”

“Yes. Okay.”

ruler… . So now the question is where to start explaining this… .

I blinked for a moment, looking for the starting point, then realized how absurd I had given Hermel and stroked my chin.

“This… . It’s quite difficult to choose where to start explaining.”

Hermel looked at me with a face that seemed to say, ‘That’s how I felt.’

I looked away, avoided his gaze, chose the appropriate part in my head, cleared my throat, and started talking.

“Hmm… . As I said before, the purpose of this research was to enable women to have children.”

“And the result is that mouse?”

“That’s right. To put it long, it’s only going to increase, so if you look at the results without considering the pros and cons, the research itself was a great success. And the result of that research is this pill.”

As I said that, I took out the pills and placed them on the table.

“If you eat this and have a relationship, women can have children.”

“Hmm… . The story that the research itself was successful sounds like a story that problems other than the research arose. Is that right?”

“Yes. There is a bit of a problem.”

I nodded and said, looking at the mouse running around.

“As it is not a child born from an affair between a man and a woman, the child born will unconditionally be a girl. To explain this, we also need to explain sex chromosomes… . Shall I do it?”

“… Let me listen for a moment.”

“Humans have an X chromosome and a Y chromosome, and the combination of these chromosomes determines the gender of the child to be born. Normally, men have XY chromosomes and women have XX chromosomes, and the man’s Y chromosome plays a role in determining the gender of the child to be born. And this sex determination system is called the XY sex determination system――”

While he was continuing his explanation by drawing pictures on the table with magic to make it as easy as possible to understand, Hermel reached out and waved his hand.

“Ahh. Wait a minute.”

“What’s wrong?”

“So, what you’re saying is that the man is holding a flag named X and Y in each hand? Your gender is determined by what you plug in.”

I blinked at the sight of Hermel condensing what had been a long explanation in an instant, but nodded when I realized that what he said was not entirely wrong.

Actually, I think Hermel is very smart. No, I guess I can’t explain it.

… Maybe it’s both.

“Mmm. So the problem that Charles mentioned earlier is that the child born will always be a girl?”

“Yes. yes. The fact that boys are never born is also a problem.”

“There is nothing wrong with the child, right?”

“Yes. There will be no problem at all with the child. Although the research was based on alchemy, unlike the homunculus, it did not use the cells of one person, but the cells of two people… .”

As I continued talking, I trailed off and shook my head. I explained this at length earlier, and Hermel summarized it for me. Now it’s like this again.

After organizing and refining the explanation in my head for a moment, I nodded and opened my mouth again.

“Do you remember that among the nobles of the old kingdom, there was a family that suddenly fell into disrepair because all of its children suddenly died of illness?”

“Uh… . ah. that. There was a lot of talk about God cursing me and all that. But why is that suddenly happening?”

“That family is inbred… . When you say that, it’s a bit like that. It’s not wrong, but… . Anyway, you know that this is a family that continues the family line through close relatives, right?”

“You know. Who wouldn’t know when they see that they keep passing down generations while rejecting all the gossip that comes in.”

“The reason their descendants suddenly died of disease was not a curse from God, but a genetic disease. Even if I explain it in detail, it would be complicated, so just to give a few examples, there are things like blood problems, brain damage for various reasons, making you stupid, water cysts, muscle loss due to insomnia, and dozens more. .”

“Are you saying that such a disease could come from me and Charles’ child?”

“No, the examples I gave only apply to inbreeding, parthenogenesis, and the homunculus mentioned earlier. Although we are the same gender, Hermel and I are completely different people. So, it is unlikely to cause a genetic disease.”

Hermel, who had been blinking while listening to me, nodded slowly.

“So, this means that there will be no problems with the unborn child, right?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“Then that’s it! That’s enough!”

I smiled a little at Hermel’s bright smile, then remembered that there was something I hadn’t talked about yet, and let out a short sigh.

“Ah.”

“Huh? what’s the matter? What’s still left?”

“Umm… . huh… . The real problem remains.”

He changed his expression completely at my words and asked with a serious face.

“… What is it?”

After stroking the back of my neck and muttering for a moment, I closed my eyes and spoke.

“The normal love given by a man and received from a woman is different… . It’s a situation where there’s only one person on the receiving end… ?”

“Yes.”

“So… . So, we don’t know who might be pregnant… .”

“… … ?”

Hermel, who tilted his head at my words, smiled fiercely and licked his lips as if he had realized something.

“You never know who might get pregnant… . It’s fun.”

“Huh?”

I slowly retreated from the sight of Hermel approaching like an animal stalking its prey and its hot energy.

“Hey, Hermel?”

“That means that anyone can do it until they get pregnant, right?”

“That’s not it! Just doing it once will be enough!”

“Anyway, you have to do it, right? Then it’s okay.”

Saying that, Hermel swallowed the pill that had been placed on the table, put another pill in his mouth, and then came over and kissed it.

“Woo-eup!?”

This isn’t it. No, it was the desired result, but it wasn’t this kind of atmosphere.

no… . what… . I guess it’s okay because it feels good… .