Crossroads (3)

Elderin flew to me at a terrifying speed as soon as she received my call.

Yes. She must have flown.

The distance from where Elderin lives to here is quite far.

It was a considerable distance that made me regret calling her.

But if my memory serves me right, the car speeding towards me now was definitely Elderin’s.

The time that passed was just over an hour.

So that snow-white car must surely have wings.

If it doesn’t have wings, it would mean Yuserin stepped on the accelerator like a madwoman.

‘I wonder if she sped.’

In today’s world, doing such a thing would result in a pile of fines.

Penalty points would accumulate significantly too.

No matter how I think about it, there was no reason for her to do that much for me.

She accepted my sudden request without asking any questions.

She had already shown enough kindness.

But it seems my prediction wasn’t wrong.

Elderin who got out of the car was quite a mess.

“Da-eun!”

This is clearly someone who came straight from the gym.

She was wearing a coat over her tight-fitting leggings. Her hair was obviously hastily tied up.

And this is the same person who coaxed me to style my hair nicely.

Is it because I’m grateful that she rushed here so quickly with just one phone call?

I felt something sink in my chest.

Even though I thought I had calmed my heart to some extent.

I couldn’t sit still and limped over on my crutches.

When I almost fell because my strength gave out midway, Elderin caught me.

I think she smelled of perfume when we met last time.

This time, there was a faint smell of dried sweat.

When I felt the soft touch, for some reason my eyes seemed to get hot.

“Did you wait long?”

“No, it’s fine… Hic, hiccup!”

Oh, this is bad.

Mom said I look extremely ugly when I cry.

I must be making an unsightly face right now.

* * *

We couldn’t go anywhere fancy.

Serin was in an outfit inconvenient for freely roaming outside, and my eyes were bloodshot.

The image of myself I saw in the side mirror as I got in the car was completely that of a crybaby.

I had cried my heart out.

The inside of the car we rode in while sniffling was the only place we could be.

Fortunately, the crying subsided quickly, but now I was in trouble for a different reason.

I’m embarrassed for acting like a child.

Above all, I should explain what happened…

Where should I start the story from?

How much can I tell and still be okay?

This is my first time, so I had no idea how to go about it.

Right now, I just want to bury myself in warmth.

Should I ask her to just hold me for a while without asking anything?

This wouldn’t be right. Even I thought it was too selfish a wish.

Elderin seemed to have read my mind.

“Well, you see…”

“You can think slowly. I’m just going to drive to a place where we can get some air, is that okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“If it’s too hard to talk about, you don’t have to say anything.”

“……”

We bought coffee on the way somewhere.

My body seemed to want alcohol, but Elderin had driven here so that wasn’t possible.

We arrived at a quiet place overlooking the sea.

It seemed like a place where people wouldn’t come and go, which strangely calmed my heart.

The waves reaching the beach made a regular sound – splash, splash.

“Not bad for a place I just found. Shall we sit over there?”

We settled in a suitable spot and sipped coffee.

It was coffee I drank everywhere, but today it didn’t taste particularly bitter.

As expected, you could say. Elderin sat right next to me.

It was close enough that our skin would touch if I moved just a little.

Longing for warmth, I leaned my body first.

Pat pat on the opposite shoulder. A soft hand touched me.

I still… hadn’t sorted out my feelings.

So I brought up a slightly different topic first.

“Why are you so nice to me, unni?”

“Hm? Well, I guess you would be curious.”

“Actually, our first meeting wasn’t that great, was it?”

The first time I met Elderin was when I was bleeding from between my legs.

I have severe menstrual cramps and heavy bleeding.

My mood swings were also severe, so I went around killing streamers indiscriminately.

Elderin was one of the victims at that time.

If you think about it, it means she should dislike me rather than like me.

“Promise not to get angry when you hear this?”

“How could I get angry? At someone who came like this for me.”

“I had a younger sister. Just your age, pretty like you, and looking precarious like you.”

* * *

A person’s body and mind are closely connected.

When the body gets sick, the mind gets sick, and conversely, when the mind gets sick, soon the body gets sick too.

Yuserin’s sister was a case where the illness of the body infected the heart.

One day, her sister who became seriously ill couldn’t leave the hospital.

At first, it was okay. There was hope that she would get better, and her sister endured well.

As the illness deepened, she couldn’t do that anymore.

“I put more money in the account. Buy anything you want.”

“I don’t need it. Didn’t I tell you I don’t want to see your face?”

“I can’t really not see you at all just because you said that. How are you feeling? Dr. Park said there was some improvement.”

“I think I’d feel much better if I didn’t see you.”

The treatment was too painful.

There’s a set capacity in a person’s heart, and her sister had to pack it tightly with pain.

So only pain flowed from the spring in her sister’s heart.

When was the last time she saw a smiling face?

A hazy memory. Even the relatively close sisterly relationship now seemed like a dream.

Her sister chose to inflict pain on others to alleviate her own pain.

It wasn’t the right thing to do.

Elderin was hurt a lot, and her sister threw hysterics at nurses and medical staff too.

Sometimes she heard gossip and protested.

It was hard to understand.

Clearly, I was trying to be as nice as possible to my sister.

Why does this child treat me so harshly?

I’ve done nothing wrong.

“You think I’m ridiculous, don’t you? Cooped up in a place like this…”

“Don’t say that. I’ve never thought that way.”

“I told you I don’t want to hear such things! Get out, I said get out. Just you walking around in front of me makes me sick, so please don’t even come near here!”

“…Alright, I’m sorry. Rest well. I’ll go now.”

Looking back, it was a scream.

The scream that comes out when it’s too painful.

The cry for help to save her – met a sick and rotten heart and gave off a stench.

Serin at that time lacked composure.

She too, being human, had a limit to her heart’s capacity.

She couldn’t endure the stench of the festering heart.

She gets beaten down by reality and then takes her sister’s resentment.

It was like going to get hurt during the time she should be recovering her tired body and mind.

Naturally, Serin got tired too. Maybe she had been for a long time already.

So, one day when the doctor called her out.

“You should start preparing yourself.”

“Prepare myself?”

“Your sister will soon…”

Serin felt relief.

She won’t have to earn money for hospital bills anymore.

She won’t need to work day and night including weekends, and hear her sister’s resentment.

Now she can live solely for herself.

Ah, liberation.

Freedom has come.

The doctor must have thought she was shedding tears of loss.

But in the whole world, only Yuserin herself knew.

Those tears were tears of joy for gaining freedom.

She felt disgusting about herself, but didn’t show it anywhere.

Even right before her sister’s death, she stayed by her side.

She was prepared to listen to any harsh words, as if today might be the last.

“Unni…”

“Yes, I’m sorry. You said you didn’t want to see me.”

“No. That’s not it. I’m sorry for everything. Please forget all the things I said.”

“Huh, what?”

At the final moment.

Her sister apologized to her.

Her chest suddenly hurt.

That one word of apology was more painful than any harsh and thorny words.

She didn’t even realize when the strength left her hand holding her sister’s.

It was her sister who grasped her hand that had briefly gone limp.

Despite barely being able to move a finger, she left warmth for her.

“Now that it doesn’t hurt anymore… I can say it. I love you, unni. Thank you… for being by my side. I never hated you, not even once.”

It was her last words. With those words, her sister stopped.

At the same time, Serin’s mind stopped.

Never hated her, she said.

Then, what about me who felt relief at your death?

Me, who couldn’t return a smile at your last moment…

While the medical staff came in to take care of things, she couldn’t move at all while holding her sister’s hand.

Only when the doctor shook her shoulder a couple of times did tears start to flow.

The tears contained loss, sadness, and regret.

And a few years later.

At a point when she was more often called ‘Elderin’ than the name Yuserin.

A girl in the game sought her out.

– Hoo… Hm. Aha… Hahaha.

Unstable breathing.ъ

Laughter that seemed sadistic and twisted.

Yet a body that clung to her as if embracing.

From the girl strangling herself – Serin felt a sense of déjà vu.

Somehow, she seemed to understand.

The girl’s laughter was actually a scream.