episode_0142

The reason my sister couldn’t come back from the academy was because she was busy with work.

Even if she can’t return to the mansion, she will definitely think of me and think of me at the academy.

Because your smile is mine and mine alone. Yes, it will. Because your warm eyes are just for me. I’m sure it will.

I thought so… … .

‘We sincerely welcome all of you who have entered the academy.’

‘sister… … .’

My sister was smiling. I was smiling at people other than myself.

As expected, to her, I was like a stone rolling around everywhere, neither special nor important.

‘no… … !’

That can’t be possible. The kind smile and soft voice you showed me before breaking up with me, and the warm hand you stroked my head with, were not lies.

okay. That wasn’t a lie. But think about it. Was it really just for you? Are you sure that your smile, voice, and touch are just for you?

‘Sister, sister… … !’

That soft voice was not only directed at you, but also at all the students entering the academy, including you.

How many people would your voice and smile have reached when you weren’t at the academy? Even without you, my sister was doing well. I wouldn’t have thought what you thought. What do you need to do?

Things like you don’t matter at all. As your father said, you are nothing more than a byproduct of your sister. It’s a useless junk, like a scratch on a jewel. No one will care if you disappear.

‘No ah!!’

“Hmm… … !!”

I suddenly got up from my seat and tried to catch my breath with my mouth open, feeling like I was out of breath, similar to when I was kicked in the stomach by my father.

I stayed like that for a long time. By the time I could breathe normally, the moon had already set and the sun had risen.

“… … Again. And again, that dream… … .”

As I covered my face with my trembling hands, I felt my palms becoming sticky from cold sweat.

When I came to my senses from that strange feeling of discomfort, I realized that not only my palms but my entire body was soaked in cold sweat.

“Ah… … . I have to attend… … .”

I knew I had to leave, but I didn’t want to leave the room.

If I go out and walk around and meet my sister, if I see her smiling at people other than me, if I run into her with someone other than me…

“Wow… … !!”

The sudden feeling of nausea raised my head, and I couldn’t even try to resist, and just poured gastric juice onto my bedding.

“Huweee!! Cook, khook… … . ha… … . Wow!!”

no. I don’t want my sister taken away. Sister, help me. please… … . I don’t want to live in pain like this anymore. I’d rather kill you. Just make me feel comfortable. please. Hug me as sweetly as you did then. please… … .

You know. That something like that can’t happen. Unlike me, my sister is a perfect person. You, and no one else, know best that I am nothing but a flaw to your perfect sister.

“Ugh, huh… … .”

Paranoia, inferiority complex, self-hatred, distrust of others, depression, anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, insomnia.

All of those things tormented me day after day, tearing my spirit apart.

The compulsion to not cause trouble to my sister helped me to imitate a normal person by trying to piece together my torn spirit, but… … .

“Priscilla, you are amazing, perhaps because you have an amazing older sister!”

It was only a temporary measure, and as the feeling of separation between myself and the outsider self grew, my feelings toward my sister became distorted.

“You’re so good at it, just like your sister.”

No matter how much I didn’t see my sister, no matter how far away I was from her, her shadow always followed me.

“I must be proud to have such a great sister.”

I was me, but I wasn’t me.

“You look exactly like your sister――”

No matter how hard I tried to hold on to my oscillating spirit, the spirit that was connected by the needle of obsession and the thread of obsession became weaker and weaker as it was repeatedly torn and sewn.

“Sister Division――”

I couldn’t properly protest or say no. I’m not your sister, I’m different from you, I can’t do things like you, I’m asking you to stop now.

Every day was a series of suffering. I really wanted to die, but my mere presence would put a blemish on my sister’s perfection, and if I died, there would be a crack in her perfection.

In order to die, you must at least die after making a meritorious contribution on the battlefield, or achieve an achievement such as the invention of the century, the development of a new magic formula, or the combination of a new magic potion.

However, I knew very well that there was no way an idiot like me could achieve such feats, so my spirit became a living corpse that could not die.

“With my sister――”

And at some point, I felt something inside me break.

Then everything became easier. My head, which was filled with countless thoughts and worries, became filled with just one thought. Then I no longer had auditory hallucinations or had any damn nightmares.

“I got a perfect score on this test as well. Thank you for your hard work.”

“This is natural, but you are exaggerating.”

I have to be perfect. Because I am a part of the perfect sister.

“Of course, it looks like you studied really hard.”

If it bothers you to think about it, just stop thinking about it. If you are bothered by comparison, all you have to do is conform. If it’s painful to be me――

“Of course. I am your younger brother.”

All you have to do is abandon me.

From that day on, I gave up everything to be perfect as a part of my sister.

“I’ve been hearing a lot of stories about my younger brother these days. Do you know?”

“Hehe, sure. I’m really proud of my younger brother.”

It was something that should not have happened for me, not Priscilla, to stand in front of my sister, so I couldn’t stand in front of her in person.

To become someone worthy of a perfect older sister. In order to accommodate everything to my sister, I watched her every move from afar and recorded everything about her.

What you eat for lunch, which hand you usually use, what your handwriting is like, when you laugh, when you’re sad, who you are close to, what kind of clothes you prefer–everything.

Although I couldn’t tell what my sister was doing during class, I spent all the other time working for her.

“Ah… … . sister… … .”

I felt supremely happy as everything about me was filled with my sister.

As the object of me that I had already let go of faded and disappeared, I became happier. Because there is no reason to feel pain.

Then one day it happened.

As usual, I prepared perfectly for the test by sleeping less and repeating pre-study, review, and answering questions dozens of times, and this time I also achieved perfect scores in all subjects.

It was around this time that I felt satisfied with the thought that I had become a younger sister worthy of my older sister.

“Miss Priscilla, could you please follow me to the lab for a moment? I have something to share about grades.”

“Yes, Professor.”

Are you praising me for being a younger sibling worthy of a great older sister? Are they praising me for being perfect just like my sister?

Ah, what kind of compliments will I get this time?

I was so filled with anticipation that my heart pounded.

That’s how I followed the professor into the professor’s lab. The professor sat down and took out my report card and showed it to me.

“Following the last exam, you received a perfect score on this exam.”

“Of course. Because he’s my sister’s younger brother.”

I said that and smiled softly like my older sister.

The professor nodded his head a couple of times when he saw me like that, and said, putting my report card down on the desk.

“Congratulations. With this score, Priscilla will be the special recipient next semester.”

“Special case… … What?”

Special case.

Starting with a full scholarship from the Academy, full support is given to special recipients if they have anything they want, and priority is given to being the first to apply for private research labs, various competitions and competitions, etc.

It literally meant giving various special benefits.

“Yes. It’s a special case. Students who will receive special treatment will be announced at the start of the new semester――”

“Now, wait a minute.”

“Yes?”

Since it provides a variety of support, it was decided that only one person would be eligible for this special treatment.

“The next special treatment is also for you… … . is not it… … ?”

The standard was to achieve the highest grades and performance across all grades.

My perfect sister has never missed this special event since first grade… … . I did… … .

“Ah, are you talking about Miss Genea?”

I nodded at what the professor said. The professor let out a sigh as if he was troubled.

“Umm… … . Originally, it was forbidden to talk about grades to anyone other than oneself… … . Miss Priscilla is also Miss Genea’s younger sister, so it would be okay to tell her.”

The professor started talking about my sister like that, and after hearing the story… … .

I jumped out of the place and headed to my sister.

“It’s a lie… … . lie… … ! Lie, lie, lie, lie!!”

I screamed like a madman and ran towards my sister’s classroom, which I couldn’t visit during class time.

no. Probably not. Sister must be perfect. Because my sister is perfect, I have to be perfect for her. Because I have to be perfect to be worthy of my sister.

If my sister isn’t perfect, what should I do? What will become of me if I become more perfect than my sister? Why am I better than you? I shouldn’t be better than my sister. I have to be a part of my sister. My sister shouldn’t be a part of me. I, I――

When I arrived at my sister’s classroom after rushing like crazy, there were strangely many people there.

-Oh, look there. I guess it’s finally starting.

-Hwiyu!! awesome!!

What on earth is going on? What starts?

“Wait a minute… … !! Please get out of the way for a moment!!”

―Ah, what a romantic scene… … .

―I really think it suits you well.

“Get out of the way, I mean get out of the way!!”

As my sister’s younger brother, I did something unbecoming, like pushing my senior, and made my way through the crowd.

What I saw at the end was――

“Would you please date me on the premise of marriage?”

“――Yes!”

“Eon… … . you… … ?”

It was the sight of a red-haired man kneeling and courting her, and her older sister accepting his courtship with a face she had never seen before.

“I hate it!!!!”

There was a sound of my heart breaking.