Chapter 11
by AfuhfuihgsChapter 11 – A Small Mercy
—–CROW—–
What is life?
What is life that we live this way?
As a human being, what kind of life should I live…?
“Lee Si-woo, you idiot!”
“…Huh?”
“Move aside, there’s a car coming.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.”
I snapped back to reality and bowed to the stationary car.
I almost ended my life while contemplating it.
If Young-joo hadn’t yelled, I might have met the Grim Reaper.
Young-joo frowned, looking displeased.
“I heard you weren’t feeling well yesterday. Is it the same reason today?”
“…Similar.”
“If it’s the same, it’s the same. What do you mean ‘similar’?”
Young-joo reacted as if I was talking nonsense, but I couldn’t help it.
I couldn’t explain it any better.
Yesterday, I wasn’t feeling well because of the strange phenomenon that suddenly occurred.
And today, I wasn’t feeling well because of the secondary effects of yesterday’s strange phenomenon.
Young-joo now looked genuinely worried.
“Shouldn’t you go to the hospital?”
“It’s not that serious.”
“Not that serious? You almost got hit by a car while walking around with a dazed expression.”
“…I can’t argue with that, but it’s really not that serious.”
I wouldn’t be able to explain it at the hospital anyway.
I couldn’t tell the doctor that I’d suddenly started seeing my friend’s inner thoughts.
I didn’t have the hobby of being dragged to a mental hospital while receiving pity from everyone around me.
Perhaps realizing that his words weren’t getting through to me, Young-joo threw his hands up in the air.
“I don’t know. Do whatever you want.”
“Thanks for your concern, Young-joo.”
“It’s Joo-young, not Young-joo.”
“Whatever.”
“…You know, you have no right to complain about Han Seo-ah.”
“…Why are you suddenly bringing her up?”
Han Seo-ah was the reason I wasn’t feeling well.
Because of the incident this morning that I couldn’t tell anyone about.
“You always complain about Han Seo-ah being annoying.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. Like, ‘Han Seo-ah did this to me yesterday,’ or ‘Han Seo-ah did that to me today.'”
“…Really?”
I did?
I really said those things?
Seeing my clueless reaction, Young-joo looked exasperated.
“Wow, you’re unbelievable. You don’t remember?”
“…No, I don’t.”
“Just last weekend, when we were playing games, you complained that you almost couldn’t play because of Han Seo-ah.”
“…Ah.”
Now I remembered, thanks to his precise explanation.
I was supposed to play games with Young-joo that evening, but Han Seo-ah suddenly said she wanted ice cream, so we went to get some.
“Right. I think I did.”
“See? I’m not lying. You talk about Han Seo-ah a lot when you’re with me.”
“…”
“I’m not just asking if you guys are dating for no reason.”
I could finally understand Young-joo’s perspective.
If I were in his shoes, I would have asked the same question repeatedly.
“But we’re really not dating.”
“…That’s why I don’t understand. Why aren’t you guys dating?”
Of course, Han Seo-ah and I were not in a romantic relationship.
Young-joo still looked confused, shaking his head.
“I really don’t get it. Honestly, if you’ve known each other for that long, wouldn’t you have dated at least once?”
“Really?”
“That’s usually what happens in those romantic comedy anime from Japan.”
“…Real life is different from anime, Young-joo.”
“Well…”
“What do you mean ‘well’…”
“Sometimes, when I see you guys together, it doesn’t seem like that.”
“…What?”
What was he talking about?
When he saw us together, it didn’t seem like we weren’t dating?
“What are you sudden…”
“Oh, it’s time for class. I’ll go first.”
“Wait, hold o…”
“Tomorrow’s Wednesday, right? That’s your day off, isn’t it? Then, see you on Thursday.”
Seo Joo-young, leaving me with a cryptic message, ran off to his classroom.
“…What was that about?”
All I could do was ponder his words.
***
I arrived at the classroom, still puzzled by Young-joo’s words.
“…You’re here?”
“…Yeah.”
Han Seo-ah, whom I hadn’t seen since this morning, was already sitting in her seat.
‘Creak’
“…Can I sit here?”
“…What’s with the sudden formality?”
I sat down next to Han Seo-ah as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
This was another part of our routine.
Whenever we had the same class, we always sat next to each other.
Han Seo-ah spoke in a slightly sarcastic tone.
“You were so worried about people misunderstanding this morning.”
“That was a situation that warranted misunderstanding.”
“Isn’t this also a situation that warrants misunderstanding? A guy and a girl sitting next to each other every day.”
“…That’s not wrong, but it’s better than earlier.”
“…That’s true.”
Han Seo-ah’s lips closed, as if she couldn’t deny that fact.
She must have been thinking the same thing.
What happened this morning would have been misunderstood by anyone, no matter how oblivious.
“…Hey, Lee Si-woo.”
“…What?”
“About what happened earlier…”
“…”
“You’re not thinking anything weird, are you? I was just a little flustered.”
[I thought my heart was going to stop.]
[I knew Si-woo was handsome, but seeing him that close was too much for my heart.]
I thought her reaction was a bit excessive for just being flustered.
As expected, Han Seo-ah’s inner thoughts started appearing again.
“Did you hear that?”
“Yeah, you were flustered?”
“Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone’s face that close.”
[Actually, I saw it yesterday morning too.]
[But that was when Si-woo was asleep, and this time he was awake.]
‘…Han Seo-ah was this close yesterday too?’
If this kind of situation appeared in an anime, it would be a heart-fluttering scene.
Why did it feel like a thriller to me?
Young-joo, you were wrong again.
Real life and anime were completely different.
As I mentally tallied another victory against Young-joo, Han Seo-ah continued.
“So, what I mean is, I don’t want you to misunderstand.”
“What kind of misunderstanding are you talking about?”
“It wasn’t like those novels or anime you usually watch.”
“…”
“Just remember that I wasn’t flustered because I was attracted to you or anything.”
[I was so flustered. The atmosphere of the cafe, the situation…]
[I want to tell Si-woo the truth… but I guess I don’t have enough courage yet.]
Ah, I see.
You weren’t flustered.
A thought suddenly crossed my mind.
I felt like I would have noticed this lie even without the sentences that suddenly appeared.
If I had even slightly noticed Han Seo-ah’s feelings for me before, I wouldn’t have needed those sentences to tell me the truth.
Simply put, Han Seo-ah was a terrible liar.
More precisely, she was a terrible liar when it came to situations involving me.
I felt a tickling sensation in my chest.
“…Okay, whatever. What did you do after that?”
“What else? I went to class.”
“With Kim Na-yeon?”
“Yeah. We have the same class. You were with Seo Young-joo, weren’t you?”
“…It’s Joo-young, not Young-joo.”
“You call him Young-joo too, so don’t pretend you’re saying it correctly now.”
“You caught me.”
“I’ve known you for years. Of course, I’d know.”
[Of course, I know. I’ve liked Si-woo for years.]
“…”
I really wished someone would invent a device that warned you before you saw these inner thoughts.
It was too much to handle.
Especially since it was coming from someone who usually kept her cute side hidden.
Following the tickling sensation in my chest, my face felt hot.
“What? Are you really sick? Why is your face so red?”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Sigh, our Si-woo can’t live without his Seo-ah noona. Should I go to the hospital with you after class?”
“…Sure.”
I doubted I’d find the cause even if I went to the hospital.
They’d probably just prescribe some medicine for a slight fever.
‘That’s a relief.’
I felt a small sense of relief.
That Han Seo-ah couldn’t see my inner thoughts.
That these sentences, which I somehow started seeing, were limited to Han Seo-ah.
I was more easily embarrassed than Han Seo-ah.
Just imagining her finding out about my feelings made my face flush.
I didn’t get up from my seat once during the afternoon class.
But I didn’t remember a single thing the professor taught.
All I remembered was Han Seo-ah acting like my older sister and offering to go to the hospital with me.
—–CROW—–
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