episode_0010

A time when I didn’t know anything yet. I was raised by prostitutes other than my biological mother.

They gave me warm porridge and old clothes to cover myself with, and I was so happy about that that I smiled, took the food, and did pretty things.

I want to be a little more cute. I want to eat a little more delicious food. My very personal reason of wanting to wear cleaner clothes helped me learn how to notice and fake a smile.

“Mel is so kind. Hehehe.”

“That’s really true. ――Is it because she’s your daughter? How can you be so cute?”

If you keep smiling, food and clothes will be provided. receive love That’s why I laughed. Then one day.

“Now that you are older, you should make money with your own efforts.”

This is what my biological mother, who didn’t usually come to visit, suddenly came to visit. From those words, for the first time in my life, I sensed human malice.

I was dragged into a brothel by my biological mother, and that night. More painful than ever. It’s painful. Also, it was extremely long.

“I don’t like it… … . I hate it… … .”

After I was dragged into a brothel and started working as a prostitute, the people who took care of me began to leave my side one by one.

When the warmth that had covered me for so long was taken away, all I was left with was the bone-chilling loneliness and the man’s sticky saliva that remained on my skin.

I cried every day and suffered every day. Instead of giving me warmth, the warmth of the men who hugged me only gave me wounds that could not be washed away, and the chill that entered through those wounds made me curl up.

“Wow! ah… … .”

And one day, something other than the chill had me curled up. I thought my stomach had been swollen lately, but does that mean it wasn’t semen accumulating in my stomach?

Since there was no one who could tell me about the conception and birth of life, I had no choice but to think that way. A stomach that gets bigger day by day, a feeling of nausea and fear that grows as time passes.

“Black… … .”

My hands were shaking. The feeling that there was something other than myself in my arms was more terrifying than I thought. The feeling of a life not what I wanted writhing inside me was more disgusting than having bugs crawling through my veins.

I hung my head against the wall and vomited out what was inside, feeling nauseous and not sure if it was due to my emotions or the life in my stomach. I vomited up what I ate, vomited up what I drank, and eventually emptied my stomach until gastric juice came out. Over and over again, over and over again, hoping that another life in my stomach would mix with the vomit and escape from inside me.

“What? Pregnant?”

“… … .”

I nodded. One day, I learned from another prostitute who helped me that the terrible pain I was experiencing was due to pregnancy.

So I went to my biological mother who gave birth to me and asked for help, and she looked at me and held out the cigarette she was smoking.

“Open. Don’t miss a single day. Lie down and sleep. And move vigorously every day. Either they receive more customers than usual, or they run around in the open space behind the brothel.”

I couldn’t erase my anger at those words. The fact that I could eliminate the source of fear that had settled within me gave me such great hope.

I immediately stretched out my hand, put the cigarette pipe my mother gave me to my mouth, and took a deep breath.

Melt. get off The world becomes distorted. It slows down, and the world turns yellow.

“Hey――Ah――”

It feels like my heart, my hands and feet, and the world are melting. happy. There is no pain, suffering or pain here. I’m happy. The sound of birds coming from somewhere. A moaning sound rang in my ears. Warm sunlight, it is night now. My stomach is warm. cold. My mother’s hand, seen in the distance, is getting closer. Were your arms that long? I guess it’s okay. love you. I’m so happy, I’m so lonely, I need warmth, I don’t like being alone.

“――. ―――.”

That’s saying something. I can’t hear you. My eyes turn. A person’s face and arms are like melted cheese, like honey dripping from a man’s cock, sweet and bitter, stretching and melting. iced coffee–

it hurts. what’s this? it hurts. It’s painful. what? Why does it hurt so much? Why does it have to hurt like this?

“Wow!”

My hands and feet are getting cold. My legs were shaking so I couldn’t even get up. I’m scared, I’m scared to walk. I’m scared of touching the ground. I’m scared to stand up. I need what my mother gave me earlier. More, more… … .

I thawed and froze again every day, over and over again. I was so happy and so painful at the same time. It was so scary to watch my mind melt and then freeze again, becoming more and more distorted.

If I just get rid of the monster in my stomach, I’ll be fine. As each day passes, the kick that is trying to rip my stomach out becomes weaker and weaker. I’m getting better. I laughed like that and took drugs every day, and then one day. A terrible feeling of helplessness that couldn’t be erased even with drugs came over me.

I lower my head as I clearly feel the wetness between my legs, my body becoming lighter, the strength escaping, and the terrible feeling of loss. An ordinary, very ordinary and very small person. Because of me, I saw a small life that had entered the world unprepared.

“Ah… … ?”

person… … . Ine… … ? It wasn’t a monster. It was a person. No, this is a monster. It is a monster born from the seeds of the monsters that attacked me.

no. Look carefully, it’s just a small life. you are bad No, I’m not bad. I am… … . I am… … .

I stretched out my trembling hand and held the cooling blood in my arms. It was warm. It was so warm. But it was cooling down because of me. Just like the monsters that took away my warmth by crushing me and hurting me, I was also a monster that took away the warmth from this child.

“Ah… … . iced coffee… … !! Ahhh!!!”

I pulled out my hair. What have I done? Why are you doing this? why? I ripped out my shiny black hair. I slammed my head against the wall and wished I could die here.

However, after the drug had been washed away, his weak body suffered so much from just hitting his head a couple of times that he collapsed on the spot. I knelt down on the spot, picked up pieces of glass that had fallen around me, and tried to stab my sunken stomach, but I was too scared.

‘With this, stab your stomach. It must hurt more than before… … ?’

And then I realized. Death is such a scary thing. That’s what I thrust upon that child.

Sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry It’s my fault. I killed you. I was wrong. My spirit and humanity, which had repeatedly melted and froze into strange shapes, were completely destroyed by the touch of a small child who was taken from my arms.

I spent time blaming myself every day. I spent time harming myself every day. I spent every day shedding tears. I was so distressed that I tried to reach for drugs again, but the moment I grabbed the pipe, the rotten eyes, nose, and mouth of a child clearly appeared before my eyes, and I pulled out my head and shed tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry”

And after a lot of time had passed and the drug had completely worn off, I went to see my biological mother. To ask why you told me that. To get revenge on the monster who killed my child.

He hid a small glass knife in his chest and headed to his mother’s room.

Squeak――

As soon as I opened the door, I frowned at the strong scent of drugs that I could smell, covered my nose and mouth with a wet handkerchief, and approached my biological mother.

“Hehe, huh. Hehehe. Jo–it gets a little more clear… … .”

“Ah… … .”

The first time I saw her in a few months, she was already completely broken. A dark red liquid that couldn’t be blood or saliva flowing down from the drug-soaked eyes, missing teeth, and torn lips.

I… … . I did that… … ? Are you saying I could have ended up like that?

“Wow!!”

I ran away from the spot. I jumped out of the window and ran towards the back alley. In the back alley, people similar to the mother I saw in the room were mixed with people worse than her.

Unlike his biological mother, who gained weight thanks to eating well, there was a child who had only bones and skin left, like a rotting corpse. Unlike my own mother, who fell into the abyss of illness herself, there were children there suffering from nothing more than a cold.

The moment I laid eyes on that image, I alternately thought of the face of the child I had killed and the image of the mother dying from drug addiction.

“Here… … . I can’t die here… … .”

I gritted my teeth and made a promise. That child, whom I almost killed, helped me even to the point of death. It helped me quit drugs. That kid is like giving me a second life.

If you want to atone for a child like that, you shouldn’t live a life of slow death in a bottom like this. I have to grit my teeth somehow, climb up, and live a normal life.

“I have no right to be happy… … . The second life you gave me – at least I won’t die at the bottom… … .”

I burned my will using the trauma and pain that was gnawing at me as fuel.

“I will nominate you today.”

It’s called “Mel. Thank you very much.”

The spirit and humanity that had melted and collapsed were melted by will and forged again by the hammer of action, becoming a solid iron castle.

I climbed up as I received more and more customers. From an ordinary prostitute to an ace. Then, using her career as a maid, she became a maid for a small count’s family. And after building a career there, I climbed up by any means necessary.

I became the duke’s maid.

“Maid?”

I was able to meet the person who would become my next stepping stone.

.

.

.

‘And now, it’s time to go up.’

With that will in mind, I opened my mouth.

“I swear with my life that I will not betray you.”

You can go up with this. If the young lady kills the head of the family by poisoning him with drugs, the young lady will become the head of the family. I, who know her secret, also came to watch from her side…

“Hehe. Hehehe… … .”

“Lady… … ?”

The young lady was smiling. Because you think I’m funny? no. It wasn’t like that. It was truly out of pure joy.

However, the moment I heard the laughter of the girl with her head down. A creepy feeling crawled up my throat, as if bugs were crawling all over my body. It felt like something unknown was making a low cry.

In the windless cellar, the light of the lantern wavered.

“It’s the best. Mel. Really.”

The moment I made eye contact with the girl who raised her head, I inadvertently took a step back with an indescribable feeling of fear. As if she had no intention of letting me go, she took two steps towards me and placed her hand on my stomach.

I thought I had seen a lot of human malice so far. Because I lived like a worm pressed to the bottom of society, I thought I had tasted all the evil. But, but no.

“People who have high ideals, a firm will, and a great desire have many uses. And people with that kind of disposition will never betray someone as long as they get what they want. Yes, that’s right. Those are the people.”

The young lady’s small malice, which was only briefly visible during this time, was not like a seed that had just sprouted through the ground. The huge malice that was tightly hidden and suppressed was nothing more than a small fragment that came out as he twisted his body in discomfort due to the oppression that was oppressing him.

“Okay, okay. If you don’t betray me, I won’t abandon you and let you get what you want. Whatever it is.”

I curled up from the hot pain I felt in my stomach.

“Kahak… … !”

“Huhuhuhu.”

What on earth happened? I turned my maid uniform over and looked at my still burning stomach.

The place where I felt the burning pain was exactly where my uterus was located. There was a bright red pattern drawn there, but it glowed for a moment and then disappeared in an instant, and it was so distorted that it was hard to make out what it was.

“This… … . how… … .”

“This is an imprint I created after studying for a long time. If you betray me, lie to me, or spread my secret to someone else, you will automatically find out and your internal organs will slowly twist and eventually explode.”

“Isn’t that just a curse? … !”

The young lady smiled.

“No. no no. That’s not it. It’s different from a curse. It’s very different. Curses are simply meant to cause pain and despair to the opponent. My imprint will not die as long as the conditions are followed. So this is not a curse, but a promise. If only Mel kept the promise she made to me. I will gift you wealth and fame. I can lead you to the high position you want. If it were me, I could do it. I’ll upload it wherever I can. I’ll fly you so high that you won’t even be able to look down because you’re scared.”

My fearful face is reflected in eyes like red glass beads. What on earth did I touch? It would have been better if I hadn’t crossed the line, if I had taken a little more step back from the line that was only one step away. If I had stopped without going any closer, I could have escaped.

“So.”

Anyway, even if you regret it, it’s already too late. At least one thing is certain――

“Let’s get along well for a long time. Mel.”

I was in too deep to pull out.

“Huhuhu”

The corners of the mouth were strangely raised and distorted, the eyes were not smiling at all, and an abyss-like madness pierced through me, and I couldn’t even guess where the end was.