Chapter 64 – Pfel

Pfel

“Sh-She’s just going because of some urgent business, right? To meet her mother…”
“Does this mean… we won’t see Pfel anymore…?”
The two sobbed after seeing Pfel’s letter saying she was going to see her mother.
Both Cherni and Saya knew Pfel’s situation to some extent.

I was also perplexed. Although Pfel’s expression had been off since we returned from Lonzville yesterday, I didn’t think she was considering this…
“What should we do…? What if Pfel meets her mother and… doesn’t come back…?”
“…It’ll be okay. The letter says she’s coming back.”

“That’s right. Pfel always keeps her promises!”
I think so too, but I couldn’t help feeling anxious in a corner of my heart.
After all, Pfel and I aren’t really blood-related family.

As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. It wouldn’t be strange if Pfel chose her real blood-related family.
Well, as someone who was abandoned as a child and has no memories of parents, it’s not something I understand well.

“Let’s wait for now.”
“Okay…”
“Sha…”
…That morning, the breakfast table without Pfel felt empty, as if there was a hole.

‘□□□, take good care of the house.’
Mother left those words and never came back.
Although the memory is hazy as if covered in fog, I think I cried a lot at that time.

I understand mother. Raising a child alone as a commoner woman is more difficult than one can imagine.
After going through various experiences and meeting Ariel unni until today, I’ve never resented my mother.
But why now?

===============
Selena. I’m sorry for leaving you alone until now. There were various circumstances.
Will you come to the house where we used to live? I want to see you once again.

– Your mother, Celine.
===============

‘So my name was Selena…’
After reading the letter, I was able to recall my name, which I couldn’t remember no matter how hard I tried.
The name I had forgotten while being kidnapped by those guys and buried in pain.

I wished the letter was fake, but seeing that it knew my name that even I couldn’t remember, it’s probably real.
“…Just because you’re related by blood doesn’t necessarily make you family.”
Strangely, after arriving home and reading the letter, Elleore unni’s words kept coming to mind.

At first, I thought about just burning the letter.
She wasn’t there when I was going through such hard times, and now she’s looking for me.
But what if, just what if. What if there really were unavoidable circumstances?

“Unni. I’ll be back.”
I left home secretly at dawn while everyone was asleep.
Ariel unni is too kind, if I told her I was going to meet my mother, it was obvious she would follow me.

“It’s a bit cold…”
To go to Lonzville, I had to rent a carriage from Helen Village, so I waited in front of the village chief’s house until dawn broke.
The dawn wind is a bit chilly. Maybe it feels more so because there’s no one beside me.

“Isn’t it Miss Pfel? What brings you here so early in the morning…”
While I was lost in thought, the village chief who had opened the door addressed me.
“Um, I have some business in Lonzville… Could you find someone to drive a carriage for me?”

I don’t know how to drive a carriage, so I need to ask someone in the village who knows how.
“As it happens, I also have some business in Lonzville… Are you going now?”
“The sooner the better.”

“Then, I’ll just finish preparing and be right back.”
Fortunately, the village chief also had business in Lonzville, so I was able to head to Lonzville faster than expected.
…I’m not sure if the village chief really had business in Lonzville or if he was just being considerate of me.

It’s my first time riding a carriage alone.
…Usually, Saya or Cherni, and Ariel unni were always beside me.
“Miss Pfel. We’ve arrived, should we enter through the city gates?”

How much time has passed? The rattling sound of the carriage stopped, and Lonzville’s city walls came into view.
“It’s okay. I won’t be going inside the city. Thank you, Village Chief.”
“Haha. This much is nothing for a family member of the magician. Well then, take care of your business.”

‘Family…’
I moved my feet while pondering the word ‘family’ that the village chief had mentioned.
“Where was the house…”

All I had to rely on were hazy memories.
But it seems my body still remembered, fortunately, I was able to find the house where I lived with my mother not long after.
A house more dilapidated than the one remaining in my memories.

As if showing that it had barely been touched by human hands, green vines were tangled on the exterior walls of the house, and the windows were already spectacularly broken.
What’s a little comforting is that the flowers I had planted last are blooming beautifully.
…By the way, I wonder if mother is really inside.

“…”
As I was hesitating, my feet not moving easily,
“You… are you Selena?”
The door of the shabby shack opened with a creak, and a woman with a familiar face greeted me.

“Mother…?”
Even though my mother’s face in my memories had weathered away and almost nothing remained, I instinctively knew.
Ah, this person is my mother.

“Is it… are you really Selena…? It is you. Selena!”
“…Yes, it’s me. Mother.”
Mother’s appearance, at a glance, seemed far from that of a healthy person.

Pale skin, dry golden hair. Sunken cheeks and hollow eyes.
…Why does she look like this when she abandoned me and left?
“It’s been a long time, Mother.”

“Indeed. You’ve grown so much I hardly recognize you. Shall we go inside and talk?”
I nodded at mother’s words and entered the house.
‘…It’s still the same.’

It seems mother hasn’t been in this house for long. Compared to the house in my memories, it was almost the same except for being more worn and dirty.
Mother and I sat facing each other at the relatively clean table.

Mother was the one who spoke first.
“Um, I’m sorry, Selena. There were reasons why I left you.”
“…Reasons?”

“O-Of course, when I say reasons, I don’t mean that what I did was right…”
Even seeing mother hastily taking back her words, I feel nothing. No anger, no resentment, not even pity.
“You don’t have to explain. I understand everything.”

“R-Really?”
Then came an awkward silence. Mother keeps glancing towards the door. As if waiting for someone.
“But why did you look for me now? After all this time?”

“…It’s natural for a parent to look for their child. Come to think of it, where have you been? Do you know how desperately I’ve been looking for you?”
Mother looks at me with eyes mixed with resentment. I found it a bit absurd, but I calmly continued speaking.
“A lot of things happened. And I met good people.”

“Good people?”
“Yes.”
I’ve made connections that can’t be described merely as ‘good people’, Mother.

“…Did you catch some rich men? Looking at you now, your clothes seem quite expensive… Well, you take after me.”
“I wonder about that.”
Hearing my words, mother smiled at me for the first time today and said,

“Hey, Selena. I need some money right now, do you think you could help me out a little?”
“…”
“I haven’t been able to take care of myself lately, and wrinkles keep appearing. And I need money for drugs… I mean, potions.”

I wonder why. In my memories, mother was always beautiful, but the mother now is not.
“Was that too sudden? I’m sorry. I’m in urgent need of money these days…”
“Mother.”

“What is it, Selena? Do you have something to say?”
What is this emotion swirling in my chest right now? Disappointment? Resentment?
After barely calming the whirlpool of indescribable emotions, I told mother the reason why I came here.

“I came here to say goodbye to you, Mother.”
“…What?”
Although mother’s gaze towards me turned cold, I still faced that gaze firmly and continued speaking.

“You know what, Mother? Today, after meeting me, you didn’t ask even once about how I’ve been all this time.”
You were just in a hurry to apologize.
The conversation with mother whom I reunited with today was brief, but it was enough to know.

…The fact that mother didn’t look for me because she missed me.
“Selena. What are you saying…”
Even at this moment as mother speaks to me in confusion, she keeps watching the door.

And then I hear Undine’s voice in my head.
[Humans with weapons are approaching from outside. Be careful.]
Not long after Undine’s words ended, two men entered the house, kicking down the old wooden door.

“Hey, Celine. Did you find your elf daughter… You did. What? So it was true?”
“She’s high-grade. No, top-grade.”
Chilling voices of the two men.

Mother, who is in front of me, doesn’t seem surprised by this sudden situation.
“Selena. I’m sorry. But, my life was ruined because of you. Don’t you think you should take responsibility?”
The kind voice from just a moment ago is gone, and mother spoke coldly enough to freeze my body.

“Kuhahaha. That’s right. Originally, children pay for their parents’ mistakes.”
“Too bad for you. Here, today’s dose.”
Mother preciously clutched the white powder the men threw to her as if it were a treasure.

Eventually, when mother put that white powder in her mouth, her expression distorted with pleasure and ecstasy.
…I’ve seen something I shouldn’t have. Unable to watch that sight, I turned my gaze to the men.
“Your name was Selena, right? It’s a shame to have such a woman as your parent.”

“It might be better if you come with us. It would be better than living under such a drug addict. Hehe.”
Although their words weren’t worth responding to, I decided to correct one wrong fact among them.
…I couldn’t bear it because it bothered me.

“Miss Selena. We’ll treat you kindly, so why don’t you come along quietly?”
“Unless Miss Selena prefers it rough! Kekeke.”
I spoke boldly to the two men who were approaching me.

“I’m sorry, but my name isn’t Selena…”
I am Ariel unni’s younger sister, Saya’s older sister, and Cherni’s friend.
“…It’s Pfel.”