chapter_0182

“Revenge? Of course I want to. But how can I do it in this state?”

I would definitely want to if I could. But the problem was that I didn’t know how.

Even now, I was still struggling to breathe. Just speaking a little longer sentence made me pant for breath.

As long as power kept flowing out of me to Aria, I couldn’t even lift a finger.

“Think about what that woman did. What did she say? She took your power, talked about the seal, but didn’t release it and disappeared. She left you a chance. Why do you think she did that?”

“……Because she couldn’t absorb it all?”

“Correct.”

The Demon God calmly affirmed. It seemed that my guess, based on the fact that she had tried to absorb my power at first and almost died, was correct.

“She could have accepted the sealed half. But her body was still too weak to accept all of your power. Do you think she would have left your power behind if she could have taken it all?”

“No.”

Aria had said that she had enough power to achieve her goal with what she had absorbed, and then disappeared. That meant she had left the rest behind.

Given that she knew my full power better than I did, having sealed my memories, it was more accurate to say she couldn’t do it rather than she didn’t do it. She wouldn’t have left any room for uncertainty.

Especially after she had let her guard down and ended up with a lance piercing her shoulder.

“I don’t know how to stop the flow of power to that woman. But I know a way to make her give up.”

“Like when she tried to swallow it at first and couldn’t bear it, and spat it back out?”

“Exactly. As soon as she spits it out, it will return to you.”

Instead of me doing something, the plan was to make her give up and return the power herself.

It seemed possible. If she wanted to achieve her goal and was faced with the choice of dying with her body bursting, she would have to give up.

“Anyway, since power will flow in unlimitedly, why don’t you just try what you originally intended?”

“Adjusting the world is a very delicate task. Don’t worry about it. Her body is about to burst, so there’s no way she can do it.”

“Alright. I’ll do it.”

As I tried to get up, I fell back down. It seemed I wasn’t ready yet. I just lifted my head while lying on the floor.

“Do you know how to do it?”

“Of course. Even though I’m in this state now, I was once a god.”

“However, there is a problem.”

The Goddess suddenly interrupted.

“We can release the seal, but it’s up to you to retrieve the memories from within it. That means you have to face your past head-on, and you have to solve the safety measure that woman put in place by yourself. Can you do it?”

Memories of the past.

Honestly, I had no idea how terrible the memories sealed within me were. That was why they were sealed.

Right now, all I remembered was that I had killed humans indiscriminately and also killed the demons. It was uncomfortable, but that was the truth.

But for now, this was the only way.

“I’ll try. But, what do you mean by a safety measure?”

“I only heard what that woman was saying, so I don’t know the details. But she said she had put in the most certain safety measure in case you figured out how to release the seal. Don’t you think it’s necessary to be careful?”

What did she mean by the most certain safety measure? Why was she so confident?

“Alright.”

Since I was already stuck on the floor, there was nothing else I could do. I nodded. The voice came closer.

“I understand. Your determination seems firm, so I won’t ask again. Keep this in mind. This is our last effort, and after this, we can only watch. It’s up to you now. We wish you good luck, human from the outside.”

The thoughts faded, and I felt something flowing into my body. My consciousness slowly faded, and my vision went dark.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a cold space. I had succeeded.

‘Is this, diㅡ’

As I looked around to assess the situation, I froze at the sight of a woman kneeling nearby, cradling something like a crystal ball in her arms. The woman slowly raised her head, and when I saw her face, a chill ran down my spine.

Latina.

Latina Glaciar.

A woman who, though not called a Saint, was worthy of the title.

A woman who cared for humans more than anyone else, but was betrayed and killed by them, and who made me lose hope in humans and consider making a deal with the Demon Lord.

She was looking at me.

“……”

Whether the blue crystal ball in her right hand was a memory itself or a key to finding memories didn’t matter. My legs gave out, and I sat down on the floor.

The hazy memories became sharp again.

The weak voice urging me to run, the pool of blood spreading around me, the fading focus of my eyes, the sensation of my hand growing cold as I died…… all the memories came flooding back as soon as I saw Latina.

“Haa…… Haa……”

My breathing became rapid. I felt nauseous. Was this how Leona felt when she met Eysier? I was definitely inhaling, but my brain wasn’t getting any oxygen. My vision blurred.

Since oxygen wasn’t reaching my brain, my breathing became faster, and the faster it became, the harder it was to breathe, creating a vicious cycle. But my body refused to cooperate.

“Cough…… Cough!”

The hazy phantom pain that had faded suddenly intensified, and an excruciating pain surged through my left arm. My arm bent. As my strength faded, my body swayed.

My head kept drooping. My consciousness was gradually fading. I didn’t even notice someone approaching and sitting in front of me.

Someone placed a hand on my shoulder, which was heaving with coughing.

“Are you alright?”

“……Cough, cough!”

As soon as I heard the voice, my breathing returned to normal. The oxygen I inhaled through my nose and mouth spread to my internal organs and the extremities of my limbs. I coughed and barely lifted my head.

“You don’t look well.”

“……”

Was it because of the device Aria had put in place that she said the same thing as when we first met in the first world, or was it simply because my appearance was that bad?

I stared blankly at her, and Latina looked back at me, expressionless. She then raised the sleeve of her nun’s habit to her palm and wiped my face with the slightly stiff fabric.

“You’re crying.”

I realized I was crying only when she said it. I touched my cheek with my trembling right hand. It was wet. Latina, expressionless as ever, carefully wiped my eyes and cheeks with the sleeve.

And so we stayed like that for a while. By the time the right sleeve was soaked and unusable, she had to switch to the left sleeve to wipe my face.

After some time, my blurred vision returned to normal. Our eyes met, as we were on the same level. As soon as I saw the gray irises, my mind went blank. I didn’t know what to say.

Was this really Latina? Or was she just a safety measure? If it was her, what should I say? If it wasn’t, what should I do? Did she remember her death? If she did, was she struggling with it?……

All these thoughts flashed through my mind in rapid succession.

“Are you the owner of these sealed memories?”

“Ah……”

A reflexive sigh escaped my lips. She spoke as if she didn’t know me at all.

I smiled bitterly at the phantom pain in my arm. It was likely, but it was hard to accept it when faced with it directly.

Yes, this wasn’t the real Latina. She was just a safety measure put in place to prevent the seal from being released, as the Goddess had said. But still, my chest felt tight.

As I remained silent, Latina tilted her head in confusion.

“Are you not? I was told that no one else could enter this space.”

“Yes…… it’s my memory.”

I nodded with difficulty. Latina held out the crystal ball in her right hand.

“I’m glad you confirmed it. Here, this is what you’re looking for.”

I stared blankly at the crystal ball and Latina, who had offered it to me. Latina tilted her head in confusion.

“You said it was yours, so why aren’t you taking it?”

“……Why are you giving this to me? You…… you wanted to protect this, didn’t you?”

“Even though I am a weak and fragile woman, I’m not so foolish as to not understand the situation. Why would someone as strong as you force a weak woman like me to guard something that is clearly not normal? It must be to prevent something from coming to retrieve this. Am I right?”

“……”

Latina slightly raised the corners of her lips.

“Now that I see your appearance, it seems I was right. You are a good person.”

“……Am I?”

“Yes. You are a good person. Even though you are wandering in the storms of life, you are steadfastly standing as a beacon of light. It is very clear to this weak and fragile body. But the one who ordered me to guard this was not. When you look deeply into the world lit by light, you will find fire and brimstone.”

Just like before, her explanation, with the addition of the description of Aria, was exactly the same as when we first met.

“My arm hurts. Please take this quickly and ease the pain of this fragile woman.”

Latina shook the arm holding the crystal ball. I hurriedly took it from her.

“Yes. I, ah…… I’m sorry. I’m late.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Ah, of course, if you had taken a little more time, I would have had bad intentions and tried to harm you.”

“What?”

“Why are you so seriously surprised? It’s just a joke.”

Latina sighed and tapped the shoulder that had been holding the crystal ball. I stood there, staring at Latina. Then I flinched as my body began to fade from the feet up.

Latina, who noticed my reaction, said calmly, “There’s no need to be surprised. My purpose has been fulfilled, so it’s only natural for this to happen.”

“That, that…… if I give it back to you……”

“How can you give back something that has already been given? Don’t say nonsense.”

My hand, which had lost its destination, wandered in the air for a moment before falling limply.

“It’s clear that a human born of human parents cannot exist in this mental world, so I must be a reincarnation of sorts. So, this is the natural order of things, and you don’t need to be sad.”

“……I still have things to say……”

There was too much to say. There was so much that even if I didn’t have enough time, I just needed a few moments to say a few things. But as my body faded more and more, I couldn’t think of anything.

Latina placed her hand on my head.

“You have a lot of time left, but I don’t, so let me say what I have to say first.”

I quietly closed my mouth. Our eyes met. The gray irises looked at me, just like they did in the past.

“Whatever happened between us in the past, it wasn’t your fault. So…… go, and do what you have to do now.”

-As always.

“……”

The hand on my head fell away. I looked at Latina, and she looked back at me. A large crack appeared in the space behind her.

The world created solely to seal my power and memories was slowly collapsing.

“……Yes, Sister.”

I slowly got up. I called her by the title I had used when we first met, not her name. I turned around, suppressing the chill that enveloped my whole body and the phantom pain that was still consuming my left arm.

A voice came from behind me.

“You said you had something to say, but you’re leaving without saying it.”

“……”

I stopped.

There was so much to say. There was so much that even if I didn’t have enough time, I just needed a few moments to say a few things. But as my body faded more and more, I couldn’t think of anything.

“……It was an honor to be with you, Sister.”

But I wanted to say this one thing.

.

.

.

“……You didn’t call me by my name.”

A quiet murmur came from behind.

“It’s good to see you looking well.”

The last words echoed from her lips as my body faded into the air.

“Thank you for not crumbling.”