Chapter 65: The Love-Hate of the Main Heroine

I quickly ran to Sharin’s side and brought her to the nearest restroom.
“I guess I should go get some water or something.”
It seemed like she didn’t even know her own drinking limit.
If she keeps this up, she’s going to suffer from a nasty hangover tomorrow.

I headed down to the lower floor of the lodge to get some water.
As soon as I grabbed a bottle of water stored with freezing magic, I saw a familiar face.
“Ah.”
The other person also recognized me and let out a brief sound.

Between her honey-blonde hair, I could see her cheeks, faintly flushed red.
A sweet scent of alcohol wafted from her, tickling my nose.
Just as Sharin mentioned, it seemed like Isabel had been drinking quite a bit, too.
‘She looks more sober than Sharin, though.’

At that moment, Isabel covered her face with both hands.
“Ah, uh, I just drank a little to match the mood, that’s all.”
She looked thoroughly flustered.
From that reaction, I felt a strange sensation.

‘This doesn’t seem like a feeling of affection.’
It felt like a different kind of emotion.

“Isabel.”
I tossed her the water bottle, and she caught it with her hands.
“Let’s talk for a bit.”
“Uh, huh?”
She looked at me with wide eyes, clearly not expecting me to initiate a conversation.

“Before that.”
I pointed upward.
“Let’s take care of the drunk first.”

Let’s move Sharin, who had turned into a dolphin in the restroom, back to her room.

* * *

After safely escorting Sharin to her room, I walked out to the terrace of the lodge with Isabel.

The unique sounds of summer insects echoed here and there.
In the distance, the blue sea sparkled under the starlight.

Shhh—
The sound of waves carried by the breeze made me feel at ease.
After taking in the sight of the sea to my heart’s content, I turned my head.

There, I saw Isabel, seeming a bit sobered up, enjoying the summer breeze.
Wearing casual clothes with a cardigan draped over her shoulders, she looked like a picture of elegance.

As the main heroine, she was truly beautiful.
But she wasn’t meeting my eyes.
To be precise, Isabel was deliberately avoiding my gaze.

Watching her silently for a moment, I finally spoke.
“Isabel.”
“Ah, yeah.”
She responded to me a beat late.

I stayed silent for a moment before asking her,
“Why are you avoiding my eyes?”

Isabel’s shoulders flinched.
She wrapped her hands around her arms—a defensive gesture done unconsciously.

“…Avoiding your eyes? Who said that?”
“Even just today, it was obvious. On the beach, after drinking, and so on.”

Isabel opened her mouth slightly, as if she wanted to say something.

She turned as red as a carrot, embarrassed that I had seen through everything.
I gazed at Isabel for a moment before leaning my back against the terrace railing.
“Go ahead, tell me. If you have a reason, I’ll listen.”

“……”
Normally, she might have just turned away, but perhaps because she was tipsy, she didn’t walk away immediately.
She opened and closed her mouth several times, as though struggling to get the words out.
As I patiently waited, she finally managed to speak.

“…Because I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Disappoint me?
I looked at Isabel with a puzzled expression.
Her face turned an even deeper shade of red as she averted her gaze.

The night breeze blew again.
Her golden hair scattered like threads of starlight in the night sky.
The scent of the sea tickled my nose, mingling with her sweet fragrance and the faint aroma of alcohol.

“…To be honest, I’m embarrassed, but I thought of you as a rival.”
She was thinking exactly what I had been thinking.
“I dislike how you criticize Lucas, but I still admired your determination. To be honest, I also wanted to move forward like you.”

Alcohol has a way of making people truthful.
Once the reins of the lips are loosened, it’s hard to stop.

“But now, here I am, having fun with everyone like this, and it makes me wonder if this is right.”
Isabel gave a faint, bitter smile.
It was a form of obsession.
The reason Isabel had survived and continued living was because of her rivalry with me.
In such a situation, she couldn’t allow herself to relax and have fun—it clashed with her own beliefs.

“That’s a pointless worry.”
I cut through her concerns bluntly.
Isabel turned to me, slightly irritated.

“I’m also here, enjoying myself, aren’t I?”
She blinked at my words.
If Isabel was resting now, then so was I, relaxing at the same resort as her.

“Isn’t that enough?”
“…But, it’s because I feel like I’m falling behind.”
“You’re not going to catch up to me just by training one extra day.”

If I really thought about it, I didn’t even feel like I was ahead of her.
It was just her perception.

“Isabel, people need to rest when it’s time to rest. I don’t know exactly what’s on your mind, but I think it’s fine to take a moment to check if you’re on the right path.”

“……”
As Isabel mulled over my words, she suddenly chuckled.
When I frowned, she waved her hands apologetically.

“No, it’s just… this feels like the first time you’ve ever been kind to me.”
“……I just didn’t like seeing you acting so self-conscious.”
“Right, that’s all it was.”

Isabel said that and turned to look out at the nighttime sea.
“…Well, you’re dating Hania, after all. I guess I’ll just have to catch up in the meantime.”

She gave a tipsy smile.
On her face, there was a mix of bitterness and loneliness.

“Sorry, but that’s not going to happen.”

So, I decided to break her smile a little.
“Me dating Hania is nothing but a fake.”
“Huh?”
“It’s just… circumstances. Do you really think Hania and I are actually dating?”

Other people might not understand, but it seemed better to let Isabel in on this.
If she saw me as her goal, I needed to become a goal so high that she could never reach it.
That way, we could maintain our rivalry in the future.

“Besides, I have no intention of dating anyone.”
After all, I’m not Hanon.
The idea of me dating someone in this form feels disrespectful.

Isabel blinked her large eyes.
Then, after a brief silence, she gave a calm smile for some reason.
“Ah, I see.”
Her smile somehow looked relieved.

My eyes opened slowly.
Unintentionally, I opened my mouth to speak, but then closed it again.
‘This…’
It’s something Sharin could easily mistake for love at first glance.

Isabel was in a psychologically unstable state.
This stemmed from losing her anchor, Lucas.
I had filled that void with anger and resentment.

For half a semester, Isabel had relied on that anger and resentment to hold herself together.
And in the process, she began to lean on me, the very target of that anger and resentment.
My intention to serve as the moon in place of Lucas, her sun, had hit its mark.

“Well, you…”
But here, an unexpected result emerged from Isabel.

There’s a term: love-hate.
A psychological state where one feels both affection and hatred simultaneously.
It signifies how thin the line between love and hate can be.
You might one day harbor hatred for someone you once loved deeply.
Or, conversely, develop affection for someone you once despised.

“I feel like you’ll never leave me and will always stay by my side.”
Emotions are that complex.

“Ah, I mean… staying by my side, like sparring with me or something.”
Isabel needed to rely on me psychologically, even if the emotion she leaned on was a terrible one like anger and resentment.
To survive, she had to depend on me.
And in that process, I had become deeply entrenched in her heart.

‘The inherent possessiveness and desire for exclusivity that people have…’
Even the feelings that were originally meant for Lucas had gradually shifted to me.

‘So this is what Sharin meant when she said Isabel sees Lucas and me as overlapping.’
Isabel wasn’t healed yet.
She was merely holding on by superimposing me over Lucas.
If I were to disappoint her and leave, she would be unable to bear the sense of loss again.

That’s why she had been trying so desperately up until now.

‘When she heard about Hania and me dating…’
The uneasiness Sharin had sensed in Isabel wasn’t jealousy.
Whether as a lover or in any other form, her anxiety stemmed from the fear that I might lose interest in her in any capacity.

‘That day, when the kids asked about it during the class social, and she erupted in anger…’

Perhaps her psychology had unconsciously surfaced.
Isabel’s eyes met mine again, and her eyes smiled brightly.

“I feel like I’ve been talking too much today. It’s just because I’m a little drunk, so you don’t have to take it too seriously.”

Was that smile truly bright?
To me, it felt like her eyes held no light.

That didn’t mean I could find a way to resolve Isabel’s situation right now, either.
Was this path we were on really the right one?
Her smile was so bright that it made me question it.

One day, when she realizes that I’m not like Lucas, will she be able to endure it?

I don’t know.

Swoosh—
The sound of the waves crashing against the night sea echoed amidst my uncertainty.

* * *

Maybe it was because Isabel’s smile lingered in my mind, but I didn’t sleep well last night.

“Yaaawn…”
I let out a long yawn full of exhaustion as I groggily sat up.

As I moved, the arm of Iris, who had been hugging me in her sleep, slid off.
I tucked the blanket snugly around her to make sure she wouldn’t feel cold, then quietly got out of bed.

On the opposite bed, Hania was sleeping with a face full of resentment.
It seemed she was still sulking over losing her spot next to Iris.

I wondered if Hania would stab me out of jealousy one of these days.

When I stepped outside, the morning air greeted me.
Following my usual routine, I stretched lightly and began my run.

At this point, skipping a day of running felt unsettling.

Running along the coastline, I noticed a few others running as well.
Well, it made sense. Everyone here was a student at Zeryon Academy.
Daily training habits were deeply ingrained in all of them.

‘Refreshing.’
Morning runs always helped clear my mind.
Even the frustration lingering from last night’s conversation with Isabel seemed to ease a little.

Thud-thud-thud—

Just then, the sound of footsteps started to echo beside me.
Someone else out jogging in the morning had caught up with me.

They were running with great determination.

To give way, I shifted slightly to the side.
But instead of passing me, the person matched my pace and continued running beside me.

Realizing this, I turned my head in mild curiosity.
What I saw was a boy with short black hair.

As I looked at his face, my eyes gradually widened.

“Hello. This is our first time meeting in person, isn’t it?”

He smiled brightly as he looked at me.

Oh, no. Damn it.

‘I thought the First Prince might send someone.’
But I hadn’t expected him to show up.

The one running beside me…
Was none other than Hanon Airei.
The real Hanon Airei, not me.