Chapter 163: Up ahead, there is baldness.

“And for you, Hero, I’ll give you this.”

“What is it? Don’t tell me it’s some kind of stamina booster?”

The Hero was sweating profusely.

Shouldn’t a Hero usually like stamina boosters?

I mean, he’s a Hero.

Heroes are supposed to be womanizers who embrace many women, right?

Well, sorry to disappoint, but it’s not a stamina booster.

I reached into my chest and pulled out a sword.

“Ayy, come on, our great Hero. You’re so amazing, you don’t even need stuff like that, right? Anyway, this is a special sword I had custom-made by the Namgung Clan. And, uh…”

“And this?”

I also handed him a scarf.

A red scarf.

The scarf I knitted by hand while I was in China, weaving the

Goddess’s blessing into every stitch.

I gently wrapped it around the Hero’s neck, making sure it was extra warm.

“It’s a scarf. I personally knitted it, imbued with the Goddess’s grace. Up here in the North, especially where you’ll be operating around Baekdu mountain, it’s cold all year round. Same goes for Gaema Plateau. So, wear it.”

“Wow, look at this damn woman, working the favorability points like a pro.”

Yet, while the Hero himself said nothing, Erin next to me was grinding her teeth, looking like she’d been wronged.

“What’s wrong with a hand-knitted scarf?”

“We both…”

“I gave you a qipao, and you two are an elf and a mage — cold doesn’t bother you much. I planned it practically: one handmade gift for one person, and material goods for the other two.”

“So you’re saying this wasn’t specifically for the Hero?”

Of course not.

I only love myself, after all.

—What about me?

Well, the Goddess made this body, so it’s natural for me to like her.

Anyway, these people — acting all like a Hero’s party — expect and suspect way too much from me.

How can they even call themselves my former comrades at this rate?

Not that I see them as comrades either, but this is a bit much, isn’t it?

“Well, anyway, let’s go meet the President. I mean, His Excellency. Didn’t he say he’d come greet us in person? Why isn’t he here yet?”

“The President… had a bit of an incident.”

Did he get every last hair plucked out or something?

Well, no need to worry.

Our Goddess wouldn’t want her child to suffer from baldness.

She probably blessed him well and patted his shiny head.

That’s what I think.

“What happened? Don’t tell me his blood pressure spiked and he collapsed? There’s still time before the summit, right?”

“Just got a call from… Chun-sik? Chun-seok? That guy. He said the President’s currently in a swearing match with the Vatican.”

“Oh, I see. Okay then. Next target: the Vatican.”

I think I get it now.

Smashing the Vatican could be a valid move.

Make them kneel before me and slowly trample them down.

“No, no, seriously, you can’t touch the Vatican!”

“Heh. It’s not like they can summon a crusade like they used to. So what?”

“No, seriously, don’t mess with them!”

“Fine, fine. I’ll let it go for now.”

I’m not clueless.

I get why the Vatican’s mad.

Out of nowhere, a new, weird religion pops up claiming to be the Vatican — of course they’d be pissed.

But still, that’s their issue.

Seems like their influence is even bigger now, maybe even more than before the Cataclysm.

“You can’t underestimate the Vatican. Their power skyrocketed after the Cataclysm.”

“Yeah, makes sense. In times like this, religion’s the only thing people can lean on.”

I nodded, appreciating Ttangchili’s timely remark.

So that means… In the near future, the Korean Vatican and the Roman Vatican might go head-to-head.

Until then, I need to gather as many believers as possible.

Just East Asia alone has hundreds of millions.

Feels like we’re already past 100 million.

No wonder the Goddess has been in such a good mood lately.

Anyway, I decided to meet with Han Sang-jae first.

***

“Oh, the Saint has returned! How many months has it been?”

Though our Goddess should have taken care of his health, he looks like he’s aged ten years.

“You must’ve been through a lot.”

“Haha… Can’t even deny it as empty words. It has been rough. You just left everything behind, you know.”

Which is why I came to see you in person.

Normally, I wouldn’t even bother.

Plus, I know you had your own reasons.

“Sorry about that. But when I went to China, the situation was… complicated. At least I managed to break it apart. Isn’t that a win?”

“Well, true enough.”

“And as a token of goodwill, I brought you a gift.”

“Oh? What is it?”

I glanced at the President’s head.

His bodyguards, Chief Secretary Park Chun-sik, my party — everyone was staring at his head.

At first, the President looked confused, like “Why are these idiots staring at me?” but then he must have felt something on his scalp.

He started touching his head.

And then, his few remaining hairs twitched… and sprouted up.

Like a snake shedding its skin, the wig came off entirely.

“Y-Your Excellency!”

Park Chun-seok shouted in shock, but surprisingly, there was no need to worry.

It was just the wig that came off.

And from the exposed bald head… real hair started growing out.

“M-My wig? What’s happening? M-My hair?!”

“Yes. That’s my gift to you.”

Real hair.

Natural hair.

That’s right.

Everyone’s eyes sparkled.

A reporter among them even started snapping photos.

The hair transplant business is doomed now.

Why pay big money when you can just believe in Kanora and grow hair?

Even Han Sang-jae, worn out and tired, looked utterly shocked.

“W-What is this? My few remaining hairs… suddenly this full?”

“If you believe in our Goddess Kanora, your hair will flourish.”

“Huh? Is that true? Believe in the Goddess and get thick hair?”

Maria, once a Khitan sorcerer, looked at me bitterly. But hey, you didn’t believe — so what’s your deal now?

I proudly declared: the era of artificial hair is over!

“Yep. This lie is absolutely true.”

“Incredible. That’s… pretty impressive.”

“Well, guess I’ve been bribed now.”

The President let out a bitter laugh.

Now that he’s accepted this bribe, he really can’t back out.

“Do I have to participate in the summit? Feels like a hassle.”

“You have to. For legitimacy’s sake. It’s a public event.”

Because I’m the Saint, after all.

But… I feel someone’s intense gaze.

“O-Ohhhhh! What was that just now?!”

“Huh? P-Prime Minister Saito? How long have you been standing there?”

Somehow, without any notice, Prime Minister Saito had shown up from the Vatican.

Did he see the whole hair-growing scene?

“I heard the Saint had returned, so I rushed over, even using my powers. Your Excellency, what is the meaning of this?”

Prime Minister Saito calls our President Your Holiness. And he’s really trying hard, even saying it in Korean.

Yeah, yeah. Once we form a federation, that’s how you’re supposed to address the pope. Real friendly-like.

Though that guy’s not drunk on nationalism — he’s high on Kanora, but the way his eyes are sparkling gives me a bad feeling.

“No matter what, my mother — the Goddess — cannot bear to watch her children suffer through hairless days.”

“If… if that’s the case…”

“Prime Minister Saito, you’re balding too, aren’t you?”

“H-how did you know?”

Saito touched his head, looking shocked.

Honestly, it was just intuition.

No matter how deep he is into Kanora fanaticism, if he had a full head of hair, he wouldn’t be reacting this desperately.

Only someone bald would react with this kind of intensity.

Just takes one to know one.

Now that I look closely, his hair does look kinda unnatural.

Looks like I can really turn Mr. Saito into a full-on slave of Kanora.

“My mother, the Goddess, now has enough believers to truly manifest her power on this land.”

The Goddess is truly great.

“If that’s so…”

“Yes. As Japan’s very first devotee, Prime Minister Saito, something like hair growth is no big deal.”

“O-ohhh…”

No need to get that emotional.

The guy’s offering up his whole country to join the federation — I can afford to toss in some perks on the side.

But then Han Sang-jae waved his hand.

“Mm. But there’s pressure from the Vatican. So, how about you show off that divine power at the summit itself?”

“Would that really be effective?”

“Not just the U.S. — many countries are coming. Most will send ambassadors, but the U.S. is sending their president directly.”

Oh, so they want to stage a big show in front of the whole world, huh.

If we want Kanoraism to officially take root, we do need global recognition.

Korea can’t validate it alone.

We’ll show them — that we can even make hair grow.

“So it’s like… a watchdog move since Korea and Japan are forming a federation? A U.S.-Japan-Korea triangle checkup.”

“Exactly.”

“Fine. Let’s do it. I’ll spread my wings and show them what a real goddess looks like.”

I’ll show them I’m an angel.

To the whole world.

***

Ambassadors from various countries gathered at the Pyongyang Vatican.

Since this was a major event — Korea and Japan forming a federation — they were here to discuss the matter.

Some probably came hoping to mediate or even block it if it threatened their national interests.

“Korea and Japan forming a federation? Unbelievable.”

“Considering their history, this Kanora religion must be dangerous.”

“Will this benefit the U.S.?”

“But what’s up with Prime Minister Saito? He’s young, but this is odd.”

“A head of state openly worshiping some bizarre religion…”

The foreigners had mixed reactions.

And then, I decided to give my first gift to our Japanese believer.

Saito threw off his wig and knelt before me in prayer.

“O Goddess! Please bestow hair upon your child!”

“O-ohhh! W-what is this?!”

“Prime Minister Saito’s hair is growing back!”

Before the eyes of the world, Prime Minister Saito’s hair grew out.

And the reporters all turned their camera angles straight at Saito’s head.

Yes.

That’s right.

Keep watching.

“KOREAN GOD NO. 1!”

“What the hell is that Yankee bastard shouting?”

“Oooohhh! So this is the Goddess’s true power!”

Exactly. Praise it. This is the power of our Goddess Kanora!