Chapter 86: Seoul Southern Gate (2)
by fnovelpia
Saint Team: Me, Pixie, Elf
Battle mage Team: Battle mage, Two Fish
Cheonma Team: Cheonma, Succubus, Ddangchili
This should do.
I would love to see 24th-century Ddangchili, but based on abilities, this seems like a well-balanced setup.
I can take out everything with one wide-area attack, so I need the Elf for item farming, and Pixie as the guide for emergencies.
Battle mage is a straight-line finisher, so the two Fish who can inflict various status effects are needed.
Cheonma is powerful too, but since he’s purely a damage-dealer, Succubuc and 24th-century Ddangchili should assist her.
“Is the balance good?”
“Well, it looks good to me, but the Saint Team is a bit short on damage-dealers, don’t you think?”
It’s true that our team doesn’t have any standout damage-dealers.
“Hey, don’t ignore me. I’m a sub-DPS too, okay?”
“Oh, is that so? But what about Young girl?”
“If used well, Young girl is actually the strongest. Honestly, she’s the type that can handle everything on her own.”
Right.
This is actually a decent combination.
It’s a shame not to see 24th-century’s power in action though.
“For now, Young girl, please distribute the maps. After all, that’s enough of a task for you.”
“Hey, I can do more when it counts, you know.”
Pixie pouted.
Well, that’s that, but I’ll make sure to manage Young girl carefully because her pranks can be dangerous.
“Yeah, Pixie as the guide is a bit of a weird role.”
But being a guide isn’t a bad role.
“Unless the path splits, there’s no need to divide, right?”
“All paths eventually lead to the same place, don’t they?”
The three-pronged paths all lead to a single location in the end.
The problem is that at the end, there’s the boss.
And so, the strategy for the Southern Gate began.
“I should have just stayed at the guild building.”
Pixie grumbled.
No matter what, Young girl won’t miss out on dungeon raids.
No one would let go of such a useful map hack, not even other parties.
“If you did that, you wouldn’t be able to create maps, right?”
Given that the boss is a dragon of some sort, things could get quite dangerous.
The monsters are surely undead.
Rattle, rattle, rattle.
Creak, creak, screech.
And in front of us as we entered, various kinds of skeletons appeared.
Their bones creaked as they let out strange sounds.
From human skeletons to monster skeletons, all of them moved in an eerie way.
If we’re talking numbers, they swarmed like the sea.
And then, descending upon them,
“Holy Crash!”
BOOM!
The Saint’s merciless attack!
A holy light, sent by the God of Death who doesn’t distinguish between good and evil, swept away the monsters.
“This Saint is just incomprehensible.”
“What now?”
“No, I mean, isn’t it weird? Honestly, you could end everything by yourself. Why do you need us? One hit from you and everything’s basically dead.”
True, but there’s a reason for that.
“The Saint hates being lonely.”
It’s true I brought them along for the map and item farming, but that’s not the only reason.
If I were to be honest, I don’t really need item-farming slaves, nor do I require the map hack since I can just destroy everything.
I could go alone, but there’s definitely something cold and lonely about not having party members, even the Hero’s Party.
Perhaps it’s a remnant of my past life, or maybe even because of everything I’ve experienced up until now.
Because of all that, I think I’m faintly affected by loneliness.
Anyway, having new comrades lately has actually made me feel more at ease.
“You’ve got such an odd personality, not matching your actions at all.”
I shrugged at Young girl’s comment.
Regardless of what anyone says, our Young girl is quite the remarkable individual.
Leaving aside the loneliness, who could possibly leave the Pixie alone?
Just on the basis of pranks, she could easily be the strongest in this world.
Even if Pixie’s original nature is to love pranks, once darkened, she becomes immensely powerful.
“Though technically, she needs a ‘toy.’ You know how it is, right? Like how people can’t live without their smartphones.”
“Wait, are you calling me a smartphone?”
“Of course. A guide this perfect is practically a smartphone.”
“How could anyone pass up on such a perfect GPS? And the elf slave is perfect for item farming too.”
“You’re treating me like a toy.”
“For a toy, you sure are following along quite well. Here.”
I turned her into an adult and gave her a mint chocolate candy.
Mint chocolate candy is just the thing for a grumpy Young girl!
“By the way, do we not need to worry about other guilds?”
“Well, I think it’s fine. Probably.”
Even during the Tower of Destruction days, they couldn’t mess with us.
If they want to come after us, they can try.
“They should know by now.”
“And what can they do about it if they know? If they’re mad, let them come at us.”
I have no fear.
There are plenty of pushovers to beat, like Lee Si-yeon.
Anyway, Park Yoo-jeong and Lee Si-yeon can be used as shields against hunters.
The returnees can destroy the hunter society from behind their protection.
“Kiyaaaaaa!”
“Guaaaaagh!”
This time, it’s a gigantic ogre skeleton.
And a cyclops skeleton, and even a skeletal knight.
It looks like something straight out of a haunted house.
Yeah, they’re terrifying to look at.
But of course, they’re useless in front of me.
“Gwoooooooooh!”
As the skeletons began to swarm in, I swung my mace once again.
“Holy Crash!”
Once again, the horde of monsters was wiped out.
There were many of them, but they were all weaklings with no substance.
Is this all there is to it?
In front of me, they’re just fragile skulls.
When things get this boring, I start to lose interest.
“Hitting them once and wiping them all out, what’s the point of this?”
“There’s no tension at all.”
The Pixie, and the Elf seem to be getting bored too.
Yeah, this kind of fight should be thrilling, with blood splattering everywhere, but there’s none of that here.
Still, I find it a bit off that they’re having fun while slacking off like this.
People should help if they have a conscience.
“So, what should we do?”
After sweeping through the monsters a few times, there was nothing left.
Originally, the plan was to wreck the hunter society, so this is expected, but it should at least be enjoyable to wipe them out.
Fighting the Demon King was more satisfying than this.
At least the Demon King gave a good fight.
“How about a livestream?”
“Oh, that’s not a bad idea. There are so many monsters to deal with anyway.”
Suddenly, they’re coming up with ridiculous ideas.
“A livestream? You want me to become a streamer or something?”
Surely, they’re not suggesting I stream with my chest bouncing around for donations, right?
Honestly, if I did a camgirl stream, I could definitely rake in the money.
“Not like other streamers showing off their boobs, of course.”
“But isn’t it pretty obvious without having to show them?”
“Yeah! Your body is already scandalous as it is.”
Should I just smash their heads right now?
Who are they calling scandalous?
Sure, I can’t deny it when I look in the mirror, but saying that right in front of me is really annoying.
“What’s the harm? You’d get donations and it’d be great.”
“It would definitely be cool to livestream us smashing the hunter society.”
There will definitely be viewers who will complain.
Most of the haters will probably be hunters or their allies, or maybe those who don’t want to see returnees succeed.
“It’ll make the hunters feel the pressure.”
“Won’t it make things harder though?”
There will probably be guilds trying to interfere.
“Okay, let’s go live then.”
And so, the livestream titled ‘The Saint’s Skull-Smasher Stream’ began.
The title is pretty fitting.
“So, this is how you do it? I’ve never done a livestream before.”
“Don’t worry, I heard it’s really easy nowadays. You don’t need expensive gear, just a smartphone.”
That’s nice.
Looking back on the old days, before the cataclysm, you used to need tons of equipment for broadcasting.
Is this not an outdoor stream?
“This scene definitely looks good.”
“They’re talking about my chest, can you believe it?”
But it seems these people have something else on their minds.
Why are they so obsessed with someone else’s chest?
Geez.
“Are you two even women?”
“Well, I’m a man.”
“For someone who’ll turn into a woman if you grow big enough. And aren’t you genderless right now?”
Look at her talking, wearing that raincoat like a Young girl.
Even the elf slave is huffing and puffing.
What right does she have to act all proud?
“I used to be a man too!”
“Yeah, right. Says the elf who already gave birth. Ah, but your chest is definitely smaller than mine, though.”
I casually puffed out my chest, and with that movement, my chest lifted slightly.
The slave, who claimed to have been a man, looked at my chest and then frowned as if she had seen something she shouldn’t have.
That’s the look of jealousy, envy over my chest.
“Tch. I’m not going to be swayed by chest envy.”
“Look at you, those jealous eyes. That’s proof that you’re a woman.”
Erin said the same thing when she saw my chest.
The elf flinched as if caught.
Seems like she still hasn’t fully accepted her role as a slave.
“No matter the woman, if it’s that big, it’s bound to stir something.”
See?
Even she’s admitting she’s a woman.
“See? You’re admitting you’re a woman too.”
She’s definitely coming to terms with being a woman now.
“What about you, though?”
The look on her face says, “You claim you were a man, but you’re acting like a total woman.”
Well, isn’t that obvious?
I’m a narcissist.
Specifically, I love this body of mine.
“Well, I mean, this body is my lover.”
This body is me, and yet it’s also someone else.
My lover and myself.
I don’t even know what I’m saying, but anyway, that’s how it is.
My lover needs to be womanly, so I have to act womanly too.
I’m me, but also another person.
That’s why I’m the perfect lover.
“I’ve never seen such a crazy person who calls themselves their own lover.”
Who cares?
As long as we’re both happy, that’s all that matters.
Besides, this one is a strange creature who has a husband and a wife.
“While you have a wife?”
“My wife’s chest is small!”
Wow.
If that woman heard this, she’d probably pass out.
There’s likely already been some domestic violence over it.
In her stories, there’s always some elf who gets beaten up for running her mouth
But more importantly…
Seems like the elf and the Young girl are both fiddling with their phones.
Looks like the stream has already started.
“By the way, do we have any viewers?”
Looks like we’ve got quite a few.
There’s got to be a few hundred people by now.
When did they start listening in?
No, it’s fine.
We didn’t mention anything directly about gender-swapping, so they probably just think we’re chatting among ourselves.
[Lol, what kind of comedy show is this?]
[What are they even doing?]
[Is this really the famous Skull-Crusher Saint from Hunter’s Gallery?]
[I joined, and suddenly they’re fighting over boobs.]
[Wow, such extremes! Look at the nun’s massive chest and the Young girl over there.]
It seems some viewers recognize me, while others are here just for the chest.
Alright, if that’s how it is, I’ll go along with it.
I was about to say something, but the Young girl beat me to it.
“Hey! Why are you comparing my chest to hers? Are you all lolicons?”
The Young girl yelled into the phone that the elf was holding.
Oh, I’m getting a feeling now.
Even if it’s annoying, I shouldn’t complain into the phone during a broadcast.
After all, it’s a stream.
[Young girl’s pissed, lol.]
[Wait, is this really the Skull-Crusher Saint? I’ve only seen her in GIFs.]
I started this on a whim, but is this going to be okay?
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