Chapter 47: Recruiting for the Second Returnee Destruction Raid Party
by fnovelpia
This looks like it will be fun.
And 100-year-old succubus?
Two mermaids and a succubus, basically a trio of women who do nothing but argue in the forum.
Or, could one of them secretly be a guy?
Either way, I decided to call them.
The new members gathered at the Tower of Destruction.
This time it’s me, Neko Cheonma, succubus, the two mermaids, and the dwarf, I suppose. Neko Cheonma and I are set.
First, there’s a girl with black wings and horns, wearing hot pants and a tank top.
I think I know who she is.
Then there’s a woman with sky-blue hair and another with blue hair—they give off a watery vibe.
Lastly, a dwarf in a green raincoat-like hoodie.
Wow, this group has quite the distinct traits again.
“Okay, time for introductions. As you can see, I’m the Saintess who serves the goddess Kanora. Being kind is my defining trait.”
Is there anyone as kind as me in this world?
“Does this woman even realize the contradiction in calling herself kind?”
The woman who looks exactly like a 100-year-old succubus quipped sarcastically.
Where else can you find a saintess as kind as me?
Especially not a succubus like her, of all people.
Wait, hold on.
She is a succubus, after all.
A demon.
And I am a saintess.
“Oh, by the way, Ms. Succubus.”
I called out to her, pulling out my mace just a little.
“Huh? Why are you pulling out your mace?”
“I’m a saintess, right?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“And you’re a succubus. A demon, essentially.”
The lines were drawn clearly now.
I swung my mace a little as I approached the succubus.
“Wait, hold on! Don’t tell me you’re actually going to use that thing?! I haven’t even fed since arriving on Earth!”
“It was a short-lived bond.”
I raised the mace high, then swung it downward with force.
“Kyahhhhh!”
Of course, I didn’t actually hit her.
But she foamed at the mouth and collapsed on the spot, completely unconscious.
Honestly, I didn’t even hit her, that was a bit much.
“That joke went too far.”
Neko Cheonma said, lightly tapping me on the head.
Unlike Battlemage, she did it gently.
We waited for the succubus to wake up before continuing the introductions.
Since I finished, it was Neko Cheonma’s turn.
“I’m Neko Cheonma.”
“And I’m the 100-year-old succubus. Also, saintess, could you stand a bit farther away from me?”
“Aww, are you upset?”
Seriously, how can a woman hold such a grudge?
“You were seriously ready to kill me.”
“Come on~ We’re both returnees. Do you really think I’d kill you?”
That’s that, and this is this.
Plus, unless you provoke me first, I have no reason to kill you anyway.
Next up was the sky-blue-haired woman.
She wore jeans and a casual t-shirt—appropriate for a tower raid?
“I’m the Little Mermaid. My name’s Leia. My Korean name is Kim Woo-joo, but just call me Leia. My specialty is blowing bubbles like this.”
Oh, so she’s the mermaid princess.
Honestly, I was expecting a seashell bra and a fish tail.
Well, I guess that would be hard to move around in.
Leia blew into the air, producing bubbles.
No, not air—actual bubbles came out of her mouth.
The bubbles seemed to have different effects.
“Oh, this is just like the bubble-blowing toy, where you dip a wand into soapy water and blow bubbles.”
“Could you not compare it to some cheap toy?”
Come on, it looks the same.
“What kind of effects does it have?”
“It can deal damage and inflict status ailments.”
One of Leia’s bubbles, a purple one, hit a brick fragment that had fallen from the tower, shattering it.
Another, a blue bubble, hit a passerby and put them to sleep.
“Wow, you have quite the variety of bubbles.”
“And I can also sing really well. I’m a proper mermaid, after all.”
Leia’s beautiful voice floated through the air.
It’s certainly impressive.
She feels different from the impression I had of her from the forum.
Now, for the Siren.
A woman with navy-blue hair stepped forward.
She wasn’t wearing a seashell bra either, just dolphin shorts and a sleeveless top.
“I’m the Siren, the only mermaid on Earth.”
Was that a direct challenge to the mermaid princess?
“Is your name really Siren?”
“Yes, I’m Siren. The only mermaid on Earth. My Korean name is Park Hyun-ah, but just call me Siren.”
The navy-haired, seaweed-like Siren had a bold, confident air about her.
“So, what’s your ability?”
“I attack with sonic waves using my voice and inflict status ailments on enemies. I don’t play around with bubbles like someone else.”
Wow, even though they’re both mermaids, they’re completely different in vibe.
“Isn’t it normal for mermaids to have tails?”
I asked, wondering out loud.
And just like that, the Little Mermaid grabbed Siren by the collar.
“Are you out of your mind? Pretending to be a mermaid when the real one’s right here?”
They were now in a full-on brawl, holding each other by the collars.
Wow, this was exactly the kind of entertainment I was hoping for when I called them.
This is perfect.
“You can’t even sing properly, and you call yourself a mermaid? Tsk. Just because you’re good at games, doesn’t mean you’re a mermaid. A true mermaid should sing beautifully.”
Siren was pretty aggressive.
“Get off me, you psycho! Wanna bet on our scales and voice? Huh? Your voice is just a weapon of mass destruction because you’re tone-deaf!”
Yeah, this is definitely not something I should get involved in.
They were locked in a battle of pride, and there was no turning back.
“What’s a scale fight?”
I asked out of curiosity.
“It’s a contest to see whose scales are more beautiful. The prettier one is considered more worthy of being a mermaid.”
What a pointless fight.
“You seem to know a lot about this, Miss Succubus.”
I remarked.
“Yeah, I’ve seen it a few times.”
She replied.
Imagining it is already exhausting, but I was curious about something.
Something I’d been wondering for a while.
Now that I had both of them here, I had the chance to ask.
“So, I have a question for you two.”
I said.
“What is it?”
They both asked, still glaring at each other.
“Where did the seashell bras and fish tails go?”
Both the Little Mermaid and Siren, still holding each other by the collar, gave me a look as if I were a complete idiot.
Then the Little Mermaid opened her mouth.
“Are you nuts? You think fairy tales and reality are the same thing? We don’t use tails on land.”
Ah, right.
Makes sense.
Even Cheonma looks like she could pull off wielding a lightsaber in a Star Wars movie, so why would mermaids be any different?
But my comment seemed to ignite a new conflict.
“Hmph, can you still call yourself a mermaid, then? I’m wearing seashells both top and bottom, so… guess I win?”
Siren smirked.
Wait, she’s actually wearing seashells?
But they seem small, so maybe it works for her.
The real issue was the Little Mermaid.
Her chest was a bit bigger, and she seemed pissed off that the seashells wouldn’t cover her properly.
“Flat-chested minnow.”
And with that, the insult war began.
“What?”
“Yeah, looking at you, you’re just a sardine with those tiny scales.”
Wow, that was harsh.
I’ve never been insulted over chest size before, but I bet that’s about the worst thing you could say to a woman.
Forget mermaid authenticity, that would just piss anyone off.
“You’ve crossed the line, you psycho!”
“Says the tone-deaf witch. How small do your breasts have to be for seashells to cover them?”
“You’re dead meat today!”
They started bickering again.
I’ll deal with them later.
For now, I turned to the dwarf.
There was something about this dwarf wearing a hood that intrigued me.
He was barely taller than my knee.
Looking again, he was incredibly short.
“Well, let’s leave the two fish alone. What about you, Mr. Dwarf?”
More important than their fight was the dwarf.
He was the one I was most curious about.
“Is this really the right time for introductions?”
The dwarf asked hesitantly.
“It’s a change of pace.”
I said.
The Cheonma looked uncomfortable but didn’t argue.
Life is just like that.
Let the fish deal with their issues while the rest of us focus on the dwarf.
“Well, as you can guess, I’m Dwarf 9218. My Korean name is Yoo Jin-soo. Recently, I divorced my wife after catching her cheating with that damn horse-headed bastard.”
Oh, so this is that guy.
Poor thing.
Looks like he actually got divorced.
That’s rough.
My heart goes out to him.
But his voice… it sounds so childish, like an elementary school kid before hitting puberty—so high-pitched it’s hard to tell if he’s a boy or a girl.
“Doesn’t your Korean name seem a bit… off for your body?”
Yeah, a Korean name doesn’t really match that physique.
“Just call me Mr. Dwarf.”
“That sounds weird.”
Weird?
That’s an understatement.
It doesn’t fit at all.
It would be nice if there was some specific race to call him by, but just calling him a dwarf feels odd.
He doesn’t even fit the typical image of a dwarf.
In most cases, dwarves are covered in thick beards and stocky, muscular bodies.
At least, that’s how they were in the world I came from.
“Do you have a particular race, then?”
I asked.
“Well, technically, I do,”
He admitted.
“Then why not use that instead?”
“Because you’d probably laugh.”
“Tell me, or I’ll keep bothering you.”
I threatened, not the type to use informal language, but the situation called for it.
“Since I’m a saint, I have to maintain my image. So at least tell me your race.”
I said.
With a sigh, the dwarf finally answered.
“I’m a Pixie.”
“Pixie?”
I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
A Pixie!
A type of fairy, no less.
So, this dwarf was claiming to be a fairy, and the thought was just too funny.
“And you mentioned your divorce. Did you at least get some alimony?”
He should have, right?
“We’ve been together for a long time, so we just divorced without any drama.”
What?
Just like that?
If it were me, I would’ve made sure to kick my wife out penniless, using every piece of leverage I had.
Switching from her husband to a centaur because he turned into a dwarf?
That’s too much.
“Sheesh, what a pushover. If it were me, I would’ve squeezed her dry.”
I muttered.
“I did take quite a bit from the centaur, though.”
He admitted.
At least the centaur paid up.
“That must’ve been tough.”
I sympathized.
“What can I do? I just have to move on. So, I’m trying to focus on other things now.”
He said, sounding resigned.
That’s a healthy attitude.
Taking up hobbies is never a bad thing.
“Hey, why are you still wearing that hood?”
Succubus asked, noticing the dwarf’s outfit.
“Oh, uh, yeah.”
He replied nervously.
“Yeah, what’s with that? Everyone else is showing their faces, but you’re still hiding?”
“Wait! No!”
Before the dwarf could protest, Succubus yanked off the hood, revealing a small girl with tied-up red hair.
“Oh, that’s actually pretty cute.”
She said, surprised.
“Wait a minute, maybe your wife cheated on you because you’re not the same gender.”
Succubus said, cautiously lifting the tiny girl.
“For the record, I’m not a girl. And even if I were, what about Elf families? What’s their excuse?”
The dwarf retorted.
True.
If we start blaming infidelity on things like that, then elf’s family wouldn’t make sense either.
Even when the husband turned into an elf girl, the wife stayed with her.
Actually, with her small, white body and red hair, the dwarf was kind of cute.
I could see why people would think she was a fairy.
Still, keeping her as a husband would be a bit awkward.
“But yeah, you have a point.”
I admitted.
“What happened with the centaur, then? Knowing Pixies, I doubt it ended with just taking his money.”
Succubus asked, curious about what else might have gone down.
The Cheonma chimed in, also curious.
“Yeah, what did you do? If it were me, I wouldn’t have let that horse-head off so easily.”
Exactly!
If someone stole my partner, I’d rip them apart, not just take their money.
Even if there’s a big size difference, who would just let a centaur walk away after something like that?
“I thought about it. But in the end, I didn’t want to become a criminal. So I decided to pull a little prank instead.”
The Pixie explained.
“A prank, huh? Pixies are known for their tricks.”
Succubus said knowingly.
So that’s what the prank was about.
I was curious about what kind of trick a Pixie would play.
“What did you do?”
I asked.
“I’m a Pixie who knows a bit of magic, so…”
“So?”
I urged, eager to hear more.
The Pixie’s lips twisted into a mischievous grin.
“I cursed him with erectile dysfunction.”
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