Chapter 8: Beat the demon to death.
by fnovelpia
It seems I really shouldn’t associate with slackers.
That’s what I thought, but I don’t have anything else to do.
There was a drama playing on TV, so I watched it for a bit.
[“Even an android can love! Why should my master be any different from a human?”]
[“Who cares? But why does it have to be a washing machine? And a top-loader, no less! Do you know how embarrassed I am among the other android moms?”]
Beep-
I just turned it off.
“Dramas are really doing everything these days. What a trashy show. Is this seriously the top K-drama?”
-Actually, no. It’s ranked number one on Wekplex.
Unbelievable.
Truly.
A love story between an android and a washing machine.
Even in this era, K-dramas are still playing love games.
And somehow, this garbage is number one globally.
Maybe it’s because the big catastrophe wiped out a lot of people, and only the ones with weird tastes are left.
It’s shocking.
I want to go to the set right now and smash that washing machine.
In the end, all I’ve done today is play games and browse forums.
And then I realized something.
I understand why returnees only browse the forums all day.
They’re all slacking off, despite the benefits of being returnees.
-Weren’t you going to get something from that bald guy?
“Oh, right. I was going to receive my reward in cash. Should I ask the forum for advice?”
—
[Author: HeadSmasherSaint]
[Title: Going to collect my reward from the Seolhwa Guild after sweeping the flood.]
I’m planning to ask for cash, but any suggestions for the amount?
Since I saved lives, 10 billion should be fair, right? Even the Goddess would approve.
[Comments]
100 Years Aged Succubus: Isn’t this chick a demon, not a saintess?
└HeadSmasherSaint: Aren’t you the demon grandma?
└100 Years Aged Succubus: Hey, I may be 100 years old, but still, watch your tone!
└HeadSmasherSaint: What’s a demon talking about people for?
└100 Years Aged Succubus: I was human 100 years ago!
Neko Heavenly Demon: Isn’t that a bit much?
└HeadSmasherSaint: Are you really the Heavenly Demon?
└Neko Heavenly Demon: Yeah, I’m a female cat-person Heavenly Demon.
└HeadSmasherSaint: Oh, so not the traditional kind.
└Neko Heavenly Demon: What kind of reaction is that?
Revolutionary Leader: You seem strong. Why not just ask for a reasonable amount? How about 1 billion?
└HeadSmasherSaint: No, it’s insulting. They locked me up at a checkpoint like some kind of human-shaped monster, and now they’re begging for help because they’re getting wiped out. And they even had the nerve to get mad. After all that, 10 billion sounds fair, right?
Weapon Maker 100 Years: The Seolhwa Guild is a mid-sized guild. They probably can’t afford to give you that much. How about 5 billion? Split it in half.
—
Useless advice.
I’ll just go ahead and ask for the 10 billion.
-How are you going to get 10 billion? It seems impossible.
“It’s possible, don’t worry.”
It’s not impossible.
*
I decided to visit the guild using the contact information I got from that bald guy.
As usual, I was dressed in my saintess outfit.
I felt some sleazy, unpleasant gazes on me, but that’s about it.
Who dares approach this radiant body?
The Seolhwa Guild was located in the third district.
The building was larger than I expected.
It looked like it could be about the size of a small company building.
“This is the Seolhwa Guild, right?”
As soon as I stepped inside, countless eyes turned to me.
As always, my body attracts attention.
Most of those people were sneaking glances at my chest.
Does it turn you on?
I even turn myself on.
“Hello. What brings you to our guild today?”
A man in a neat suit approached me politely and respectfully.
It was similar to how adventurer guilds operated.
No matter where you go, the outfits may differ, but people are all the same.
Anyway, back to the matter at hand.
“I’m here to collect a debt. Tell Kim Taebaek and that hysterical old lady to come out.”
That should’ve gotten the message across, right?
“Wait, are you the saintess who helped our guild members?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, I see. I’m Yu Hakseong, the guild manager.”
Yu Hakseong?
What, was he an exchange student or something?
He introduced himself and held out his hand.
What does he want me to do with it?
Eat it?
Shake it?
It’s annoying.
Looking at his face, I could tell he had ulterior motives.
In many ways.
Considering he’s the guild manager, he’s probably on the lookout for talent.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Uhm, excuse me, the handshake…”
Do I really need to shake hands?
I don’t have a good feeling about the Seolhwa Guild.
Overall, I don’t like how their members are composed.
For example, those two goldfish over there.
I saw two people in the middle of the intersection trying to block enemies coming from four directions, and my opinion of the Seolhwa Guild plummeted.
On top of that, there’s the bald guy who treats people like monsters and the old lady with a face that looks like she’ll never get married, asking me what I’m doing as if I should just sit around at the checkpoint.
“Why do I need to shake hands? In my world, there’s no such custom.”
Where do you think you’re putting your hand?
Know your place.
The manager’s face twisted at my words.
“Oh, haha, I see. My apologies. Then here’s my business card.”
“Sorry, but I don’t take things like that either.”
“Even though the Seolhwa Guild is small…”
Ugh, so noisy.
In the end, isn’t this just about trying to recruit me?
Seolhwa Guild or not, I’m planning to live as a slacker for a while.
I went through enough trouble with Park Siwoo, and life in the Hero’s world was no walk in the park either.
Can’t I live like a slacker for a while?
“I’m here to collect money, not to talk to you, Mr. Manager.”
“S-Sorry.”
Why is he being so annoying?
“What’s going on?”
Suddenly, I sensed someone behind me.
It was the bald guy and the irritating old maid.
“Ah, um, that is…”
“You… aren’t you that person from before?”
The bald guy was surprised, and the old maid looked shocked.
What, did they not expect me to show up in person?
People should always act consistently.
“I’m here to collect the money.”
Just give me the cash, bald head.
“Oh, right, you said you were here to get paid. I have something to discuss about that.”
“Okay.”
“This way.”
The bald guy led me to the guild master’s office.
The old maid was there too.
I noticed her glaring at me as if she was planning something.
I get it from the old maid, but what’s the guild master’s deal? Why does he keep sighing?
“Sorry, but we can’t give you any money.”
Did I just hear that correctly?
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
“Well, it’s not entirely your fault, but…”
“What?”
Now he’s blaming me?
“Logically, if you had arrived with those two, they wouldn’t have ended up like that.”
Is he talking about the goldfish duo?
What happened to them?
And what does that have to do with me?
“What happened to the goldfish duo?”
“Their limbs got ripped off, and now they can’t work as hunters anymore!”
The goldfish duo?
Their limbs were torn off?
And what do you want me to do about that?
“Blame their weakness. It’s not like I pulled the rug out from under them. What are you even saying?”
“We lost three people needlessly back then. If you had just informed us properly, we could’ve stopped the flood earlier!”
In short, they’re just trying to pin the blame on me.
“Oh, so it’s all my fault now?”
“Well…”
“Now you want to play it like this, huh?”
I can’t let this slide.
“And what are you going to do? This is a guild in the middle of the city. Even if returnees get special treatment, there’s a limit. You might be a monster, but you can’t just do whatever you want.”
The old lady decided to join in, huh?
I can’t do whatever I want, huh?
Half true, half false.
Sure, it’s not great.
After all, this is Korea.
If the law enforcement here were as weak as in the Hero’s world, it’d be easy to hide a couple of bodies.
That’s why all the kids in the slums ended up dead.
But in Korea, if a murder happens, it’ll be all over the place.
I’d be blacklisted as a returnee and end up in prison.
I guess that’s what these two are banking on, but as I said, they’re half wrong.
I smiled.
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, so just leave quietly. Even if not now, we’ll compensate you properly later.”
Looking at their smiles, I could tell exactly what ‘proper compensation’ meant.
It meant they wouldn’t pay me anything.
That’s unforgivable.
Honestly, I don’t care about the money, but now it’s a matter of principle.
So, what should I do?
Time to break some skulls.
“So you’re planning to just wash your hands of this, huh?”
“We’re not washing our hands of anything.”
“Looks like you’re mistaken. Sure, you’re living off returnee benefits and might make some money in the future, but don’t think that means I consider myself Korean. I was Korean.”
The only reason I’m living in Korea is because I used to be Korean.
It’s like a mosquito clinging to a familiar host.
At this point, it doesn’t really matter to me.
Even though I have some memories of this country, it feels foreign to me.
Not that I hate it—it’s just… I don’t care about sticking to your morals.
Now it’s time to kill some demons.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m a follower of the Goddess.”
I raised my cross and recited a miracle.
“[Holy Barrier]”
“[Respawn Field]”
The two miracles lit up the entire guild master’s office.
Walls of light formed all around, and strange symbols appeared on the floor.
“What the hell? Why are we trapped? What are you doing?”
The old maid finally blinked in confusion and backed away.
So now you’re scared?
Why’d you push me this far, then?
“Why is it blocked off, you ask? The answer’s simple, I’ve surrounded this place with a barrier. Normally, it’s meant to keep things out, but with a few tweaks, it traps everyone inside. And no, your phones won’t work here. No communication works within this space.”
In other words, all connections to the outside are cut off.
Even the cameras in here won’t work.
You’re both trapped.
“You… this is a crime, you know that?”
“What’s with this glowing ground?”
The old maid and the bald guy started sweating.
So what?
Call it a crime if you want.
Try reporting it.
“This is what we call the ‘Land of Miracles,’ though I’ve modified it a bit to serve as a Respawn Field. What’s its effect? Anyone on this ground will revive even if their skulls get smashed. So, in other words…”
I pulled a mace from my sleeve.
“I’ll be smashing your demonic heads in.”
-I’m not Buddha, though.
Who cares?
I swung my mace as hard as I could at the bald guy’s head.
Crash!
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