Chapter 61 : You’ve grown up enough to comfort me now

Even after returning to the mansion, my mind remained endlessly disturbed, to the point that even the countless stars spread across the night sky felt irritating.

The unusually bright moon was no exception.

Its bright, cheerful glow, as if mocking me without knowing how I felt, annoyed me so much that I decided not to look outside anymore.

Well, everything really did get messed up.

I guess it’s only fair for people to laugh at me.

“…So that’s what happened.”

But Ord, even after hearing what I said, simply stood there with his hands behind his back in silence.

That’s unlike him.

Normally, he would’ve shouted something like, “What on earth did you do~!” and caused a fuss.

His reaction was so different from what I expected that I felt embarrassed myself.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me? The head of a noble family caused a major incident with a royal from another country.”

Or maybe he was so angry he’d lost the words to respond.

So I deliberately used a joking tone to try and get him to speak.

However.

“The lady I know is not someone so frivolous. If you acted that way, I’m sure you must’ve had a reason and conviction to do so.”

He looked at me straight on without the slightest trace of doubt or hesitation.

That’s not it.

I really just acted on impulse.

“…Because of me, our whole family might suffer for this.”

“So what? Just as a captain goes down with the ship, I too will stay with you until the very end.”

“I don’t know what you’re seeing in me to believe in me that much.”

“Is there anyone who has watched you for as long as I have?”

He really won’t let me win even one argument.

I once heard that people grow more stubborn with age—maybe it’s true after all.

What more could I even say to that kind of unwavering faith?

Just as no one swings an axe at a boulder, even if they might try felling a tree with ten chops, I figured there was no point saying anything more and gave up.

“…Thanks, even if it’s just words. It’s late, so you should go rest now.”

“Yes, I will.”

At my gesture, Ord obediently turned to leave.

No—just before that, he grabbed the doorknob and turned only his head back toward me.

“If you’re burdened by something, it’s best to let it out whenever you can. It doesn’t have to be me—anyone is fine.”

“Got it. Just go.”

After leaving me with that final bit of nagging, Ord exited the room, and a heavy silence instantly filled the air.

Maybe it was because it was nighttime, but things felt especially lonely.

Or maybe it was just that my mind was such a mess.

Perhaps it was both.

I didn’t feel completely stifled, but not relieved either.

I wasn’t exactly lonely, but there was definitely an emptiness.

What do they call that again?

Ah, right.

They call it feeling helpless.

It had been a while since I last felt so unsure of what to do next, I’d almost forgotten what it was like.

“What do I even do now? No way that woman’s going to just let this go…”

Princess Rosiria is definitely going to retaliate over this incident.

She’s someone who openly said to my face that she hates me.

Being hated by someone when you did nothing wrong is bad enough, but I’m sure this has only made her hate me more.

Not that I care what happens to me.

Honestly, no matter what kind of danger comes my way, I have the confidence to overcome it.

That’s why I learned magic, swordsmanship, and martial arts.

I even have that encyclopedia-like skill, so I’m not worried about myself.

But the people in my mansion are a different story.

Serena, Ord, the staff who work here.

They’re all people I’m responsible for, and the fact that my actions could put them in danger is something I can’t forgive myself for.

I should’ve just held it in.

What a foolish woman I am.

“…I don’t know. The more I think about it, the more my head just hurts.”

There’s no immediate answer to this problem anyway.

Rather than staying up all night staring at the ceiling, I might as well get some sleep and rest a little.

Though… I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to sleep properly.

“Oh, I need to change clothes… Never mind. That’s too much trouble.”

I was so exhausted I couldn’t even be bothered to change clothes—I didn’t feel like doing anything at all right now.

So I decided to just lie down on the bed in the same outfit I’d worn to the banquet.

It wasn’t a big deal, but sleeping in a dress was surprisingly uncomfortable.

The thin fabric kept tickling my skin, making it hard to relax.

Still, shifting around a bit helped, and I started to feel a little better.

Just as I was finally about to drift off to sleep.

Knock knock knock.

“Unni, you’re still awake, right?”

Along with the sound of knocking came Serena’s voice.

Why’s she looking for me at this hour?

I didn’t know the reason, but I didn’t even have the energy to talk to anyone right now.

So I just kept my eyes shut and stayed silent.

Then I heard the door creak open, and footsteps began approaching me.

If you were going to come in anyway, why even bother asking?

“Unni, really. No matter how tired you are, you shouldn’t sleep in a dress.”

I was flustered, but I decided to just keep pretending to be asleep.

Maybe if I kept still, I could fool her and she’d leave.

“If you sleep like this, it’ll be uncomfortable, so I’ll help you change.”

Wait, what?

“Sorry if I accidentally touch you all over—just understand, okay?”

“Like hell I will!”

If I stayed still any longer, I had a feeling Serena was going to pull something outrageous, so I quickly opened my eyes.

You sneaky little.

She definitely knew I wasn’t asleep.

No doubt about it.

“You should’ve kept pretending. What a shame.”

“S-Serena, why aren’t you asleep? What are you doing?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Trying to sleep without even changing out of your dress—so careless.”

“Ugh… T-That’s…”

I was the one who’d been under attack here, but when hit with her sharp logic, I had no comeback.

“…Anyway, go to bed already. I’m too tired to deal with anyone right now.”

So I forcibly pushed Serena on the back.

As her older sister, showing such a pathetic side made it hard to even face her.

“No. I came because I needed to talk to you.”

“If it’s something like that, let’s talk tomorrow, okay? It’s late, and for today…”

“No. It has to be now. I have to say it now.”

But Serena stood her ground and casually sat down on my bed like it was hers.

What is with her today?

My head was already pounding, and now I had to deal with this too?

“…Fine. What is it you wanted to say?”

I finally gave in and let out a sigh.

This stubborn girl was clearly not going to leave unless I listened.

She’d always been strangely headstrong about things like this.

Then, as I reluctantly gave her my attention, Serena looked me straight in the eye.

“There were a lot of things I wanted to say… but first, I’ll apologize.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, unni. I got involved for no good reason and ended up making everything worse.”

And then she bowed her head to me.

Why?

“I’ve been thinking it over, and a lot of it doesn’t add up. There’s no way you couldn’t have dodged that woman’s hit.”

Serena’s voice was quieter and more careful now than it had been just a moment ago.

“I knew that. I knew it in my head. But before I could think, my body just moved. I didn’t have to do that, but I did.”

She sounded like someone who had hit that woman herself—her tone just as apologetic and defeated as the emotions I had felt.

What are you apologizing for?

I was the one who messed up, and I was the one who caused the whole situation.

“…If I had just held back, you wouldn’t have had to get involved. I’m sorry I made things harder for you—”

“Stop it. What do you have to apologize for?”

I couldn’t hold back anymore.

I grabbed Serena’s shoulders.

Maybe I held her too tightly, because they felt unusually soft in my hands.

“Lift your head—this isn’t your fault. You were just trying to protect me. So what are you apologizing for?”

“But… because of me, you ended up hitting someone—”

“No. That’s not it. I only punched that damn woman because she wouldn’t shut up. Got it? What I did has nothing to do with you.”

No matter what happens, I’ll take responsibility for everything myself.

I can’t let Serena carry that burden.

No matter what.

Absolutely not.

“So don’t blame yourself. Understand?”

“…Sometimes you’re really stupid, you know that?”

“What, what did you just say?”

Just when I thought she’d finally understood, Serena suddenly burst out laughing.

“You hate it when someone tries to share the burden, but do you think I’ll just sit back and let you carry it all alone?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not a little girl who needs protecting anymore. I can take care of myself, the people in the mansion, and even you.”

Then, she stopped smiling and held onto the hands I had on her shoulders.

Her hands, about the same size as mine, held a grip strong enough that I couldn’t break free.

They were calloused—not soft like in childhood, but hardened by experience, a sign she had left behind that delicate, fragile past.

“Don’t suffer alone. I’m here too, and so are others. I know how amazing you are… but when things get hard, lean on someone, okay?”

Still, her clear eyes hadn’t changed from when she was a child.

She’d grown mature enough to say such admirable things, like sharing responsibility.

“…Alright. Got it.”

I still don’t plan to hand over the burden, but… she’s definitely become someone I can rely on.

Maybe that’s why the heavy anxiety that had been weighing on me started to melt away.

“Okay, so will you let go of me now?”

“Why? Still don’t trust me?”

“I need you to let go so I can change clothes.”

“Oh…”

When I said that with a slight grin, Serena quickly let go.

She’d been gripping so tightly that marks were left on my skin.

“You could’ve been a little more gentle. You almost broke something.”

“I-It wasn’t that bad!”

At my teasing, Serena puffed up her cheeks.

When I poked them, the air whooshed out like a sulky frog, and it was pretty cute.

She’s still such a cute girl, and yet now she doesn’t need me to protect her.

That feels strange.

“Anyway, go back to your room and sleep. If you go to bed too late, Ord’s going to lecture you.”

“…I don’t want to go back. Can’t I just sleep here with you tonight?”

I was really about to go to sleep now, but Serena looked up at me with her head slightly bowed.

Ugh, this girl.

She just said she’s all grown up, and now she’s acting all clingy again.

“…Well, I guess just for tonight.”

Even though Serena had grown a lot compared to when she was little, my bed still had more than enough room.

And when I nodded, Serena’s face lit up and she quickly lay down on the bed first.

“Come on, hurry up.”

Then she patted the spot next to her like she was the owner of the bed.

She looked like some flirt trying to seduce a woman.

Did she learn that from a book or something?

I really hope not.

Anyway, I slipped under the blanket and lay down on my back.

And Serena immediately wrapped her arms around me tightly.

I guess I’m taking Pumpkin’s place tonight.

“It’s been a while since we’ve slept together like this, huh?”

“Has it? I’m not sure.”

At least for me, I remembered every night we spent together vividly, unlike Serena.

Though, her development definitely showed how much she had grown.

“Serena. You’re pressing up against me all over the place right now.”

“Yeah. So?”

“No reason. I was just wondering if I could go ahead and touch you while we’re at it.”

“…You pervert.”

As payback for my joke, I got a flick on the forehead from my little sister.

Even if she’s started throwing the first punch more often lately, she’s still not great at taking hits.

That part of her hasn’t changed—and honestly, I’m kind of glad.