Chapter 86 : Magic

Sunlight filtered through the trees, and birds chirped in the tranquil morning.

I woke from an uncomfortable, uneven sleeping spot, had a simple breakfast, and sat idly in a suitable spot, trying to collect my thoughts.

As I stared blankly ahead, someone tugged at my sleeve.

“Ruina… Ruina…”

Turning my head toward the voice, I saw Reina beside me, her face on the verge of tears as she stretched her arms out toward me.

“Ruina… My arms feel strange…”

I began inspecting her arms carefully, wondering if she had been injured.

But I couldn’t find anything wrong.

Despite her words, there was nothing amiss with her arms. I examined them thoroughly, up and down, but her arms remained soft, smooth, and flawlessly pale.

“What feels strange?”

I asked Reina with a puzzled expression. Her face crumpled further into a teary frown, clearly frustrated that I hadn’t understood.

“They hurt…”

She mumbled with a tearful voice.

Hurt? There were no visible injuries—what could it be?

Given her near-tears expression, it didn’t seem like she was lying.

Finally, a thought occurred to me as I remembered Reina swinging a sword yesterday.

Could it be… muscle soreness?

That seemed likely. Considering how much she had moved her delicate arms while I sparred with Agnes, it made sense.

“You must’ve overworked yourself yesterday. Come, sit here.”

I smiled and patted the space between my legs. Reina scurried over and sat down.

Her small, white head filled my view.

“Now, stretch your arms forward.”

Reina obediently stretched her arms forward.

I gently grasped her arms, one in each hand. Her soft, tender arms felt like holding a doll.

Once I had her arms in my grasp, I applied a bit of pressure and began massaging them.

Squish, squish.

“Kyah!”

The moment I started, Reina squirmed and let out a cute yelp, her body wriggling as if trying to escape my hands.

“It feels… weird!”

“Bear with it.”

I replied firmly, guessing how she must feel. I’d experienced this myself before, though I never imagined I’d one day be the one giving the massage.

I continued kneading her arms, sometimes applying circular pressure with my thumbs, other times enveloping her arm with my palm and massaging up and down.

It wasn’t until I had repeated the motions about ten times that I finally released her.

“Ugh…”

Reina let out a weak groan as she slumped against me, her body limp like melting ice cream.

I caught her gently, supporting her weight as her head rested lightly on my chest.

Her reliance brought a soft smile to my face.

“Feeling a bit better now?”

“Yes…”

Good, that’s how it should be.

I nodded lightly, feeling a small sense of satisfaction at her response.

Having done something good, it was time for a reward.

I hugged Reina softly, enjoying the warmth she exuded.

I recalled hearing somewhere that humans find happiness in the warmth of physical contact. It seemed true—holding Reina close made me feel as if I could float away in joy.

As I savored the quiet moment with Reina, a voice called out to me.

“Um, Lady Ruina?”

Turning toward the voice, I saw blue hair swaying gently like the ocean breeze.

Raising my gaze, I spotted the beautiful face of Olivia, the mage.

“Yes, Lady Olivia? What brings you here?”

I asked with a smile. Olivia hesitantly responded.

“Um… there’s something I wanted to ask you again…”

Something to ask, huh? I had a rough guess as to what it might be.

I gazed steadily at Olivia, who avoided my eyes, looking down. Her hands were clasped politely, and for some reason, they trembled slightly.

She seemed nervous. Her fidgeting and the faint quiver in her voice made her unease clear.

It reminded me of a student anxiously awaiting feedback on their assignment.

‘Why is she acting like this?’

I couldn’t quite understand, but at some point, Olivia seemed to have started finding me intimidating.

Not that it was a bad thing—it had made her previously abrasive attitude far more courteous, which I appreciated.

The real mystery was why her demeanor had changed so suddenly. I’d need to figure that out eventually.

“Bring it here,” I said with a nod.

Olivia’s expression brightened instantly.

Seeing her brightened expression, I felt a small twinge of regret that I wouldn’t get to see her fidgeting nervously anymore. Still, what could I do? If I had left her in that state any longer, she might have fainted from anxiety.

Everything is best in moderation.

“Please wait a moment!”

With a cheerful expression, Olivia dashed off somewhere, her steps light and quick.

Shortly after, she returned, carrying an armful of books.

Olivia gently set the books down on the ground and picked one out, opening it to a specific page before showing it to me.

“Please look at this!” she exclaimed.

I leaned closer to examine the book she held.

What filled my vision was…

Triangles, squares, circles, and countless jumbled characters—a chaotic amalgamation of destruction.

‘What… what is this?’

Of course, I knew exactly what it was.

These dizzying patterns were magical formulas, the diagrams used by mages to cast spells.

“Uh… how does it look?”

Olivia asked, her eyes brimming with subtle anticipation.

For a moment, I felt my head spin.

What did she expect me to do with this?

This wasn’t the first time Olivia had brought me something like this. 

She started showing me these magical formulas a few days ago, right after we began our journey to the North. 

Since then, she hadn’t missed a single day of presenting these diagrams and asking for my opinion.

At first, I thought Olivia was trying out a new form of torment on me.

But her bright expression and the way she diligently took notes every time I spoke suggested otherwise.

After pondering the situation for several days, I came to a conclusion about why she was doing this.

My guess was that she wanted me to evaluate her magical formulas.

Her pattern was roughly this: she would show me a formula, ask for feedback, and then take my comments, looking as though she had gained some kind of revelation.

Her behavior was unmistakably that of a scholar.

There was nothing wrong with what she was doing. If anything, it was admirable—seeking the opinions of others and incorporating them into objective research.

Except for one fatal issue.

The problem wasn’t with her. It was with me.

The truth is, I can’t read magical formulas.

I know, it sounds absurd—someone who can use magic but doesn’t understand magical formulas. But there’s a deeply tragic story behind this.

Before diving into that story, I have a confession to make: I hate math.

How much do I hate it? Just seeing lots of numbers makes me feel queasy.

Back in my previous world, there was a phrase I adored:

“As long as you can do multiplication and division, you’ll be fine in daily life.”

In my previous life, I was what people called a “math dropout.”

When I first heard that phrase, it moved me deeply. I resolved to live by those words until the day I died—and I’ve maintained that resolve in this world, too.

Anything remotely related to math makes me shudder.

Now, you might be wondering what math has to do with magical formulas.

At first, I wondered the same thing.

But I quickly realized otherwise.

Magical formulas consist of three elements: mana, incantations, and…

Geometry.

Mana and incantations aren’t the problem. The problem lies with the geometry.

Let me explain.

In magical formulas, the key elements that make magic work are mana and incantations.

You might think that with mana and incantations alone, magic could be cast. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

If it were, I’d be drawing magical formulas left and right.

To understand why, let’s use an analogy: magical formulas are like cars.

In this analogy, mana is the fuel, and incantations are the engine components.

Now, think about this: can a car run on fuel and an engine alone? Of course not.

Just as a car requires a chassis to function, magical formulas need geometry.

Creating a magical formula starts with binding incantations to a geometric shape.

This is the basic process of creating a magical formula. 

Advanced formulas involve layering multiple shapes with incantations to produce new meanings.

If the resulting formula works properly when mana is applied, the formula is deemed a success.

It sounds simple enough, but it’s anything but.

When combining shapes for a magical formula, the angles, areas, and sizes of the shapes all drastically affect the outcome.

Additionally, the results vary depending on how the incantations are combined within the shapes.

Doesn’t that sound overwhelming?

This is why I gave up on the human method of using magic long ago.

Having spent my life immersed in words, I could barely survive the storm of shapes and calculations, let alone thrive.

Fortunately, I didn’t need to walk this difficult path. Rune magic, which relies on words and imagination, was more than sufficient for me.

Even though I couldn’t attain the geometric elegance that naturally came with casting magic through intricate formulas, it was a small price to pay. 

Better to forego that fleeting sense of sophistication than to dive into this madness.

So, what’s the point here?

I’m screwed.

“Hmm… Ah… Hmm…”

Resting my chin on my hand, I pretended to examine the book with a serious expression, occasionally sneaking a glance at Olivia.

Every time I made the slightest movement, Olivia flinched, clearly on edge. Her nervousness demonstrated how much she valued this moment.

The more anxious she looked, the more I felt like losing my mind.

Why on earth does she keep asking me about these things?

No matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand.

If she had asked casually, maybe I could deal with it. 

But the way she clutched her hands together with obvious expectation left me utterly lost.

This is all because I showed her I could use magic. If I hadn’t, I could’ve just said I didn’t know anything about magical formulas.

Now, saying I don’t know would create an awkward situation.

What should I do? She’ll expect an answer soon.

Crap, crap, crap! Do I need to use that method again?

The method, of course, is lying.

Yes, lying again.

I don’t want to keep lying—it’s terrifying. The more I lie, the bigger the lies get, and I can’t even imagine the consequences if I’m ever caught. It’s terrifying.

But what choice do I have? Survival comes first.

“Looks good to me,” I said, removing my gaze from the book.

“Really? Is it okay?”

Olivia closed the book, her eyes shining with hope.

‘Okay? What’s okay about it? It’s just a bunch of shapes and scribbles!’

Obviously, I couldn’t say that. Frantically, I racked my brain for something plausible. But unlike other times, nothing came to mind.

There was no choice—I had to bluff my way through.

“It’s not bad,” I said, keeping my face as authoritative as possible, as if I were an expert giving a critical review.

“Th-thank you… But, do you think there’s anything I could improve?”

Caught off guard, I hesitated for a moment before recalling my first impressions of her drawings.

They were difficult and complicated.

“It seemed a bit complex. Perhaps you could simplify it a little.”

“…Simplify it further?”

Olivia fell silent, her expression suggesting deep thought.

Meanwhile, I turned my head away and quietly let out a sigh of relief.

Alright, it seems I dodged the bullet again. Let’s just keep going like this! I resolved silently, avoiding her gaze.

That’s when it happened.

“Could you possibly give me a hint on how to simplify it…?”

Olivia threw a massive curveball at me.

‘Oh, crap.’

Panicked, I interrupted her hastily, raising my voice without meaning to.

“Ahem! That wouldn’t be appropriate. The greatest value in learning comes from solving problems independently.”

“…Oh, I see… I’m sorry!”

Olivia bowed her head in embarrassment, her voice apologetic.

Her sudden reaction left me flustered, but I quickly adjusted my expression before she looked up again.

With a benevolent smile, I said, “It’s alright. These things happen.”

Olivia looked at me with a face full of admiration.

Please, stop looking at me like that.

“Well then, I’ll let you go now,” I said, trying to mask my unease with a firm tone.

“Thank you so much, as always!”

Olivia beamed brightly as she bid farewell.

I managed a small nod, smiling back.

As soon as she walked away, I turned my head in the opposite direction and exhaled heavily.

‘Good grief, that was close in so many ways.’

Cold sweat drenched my back. My head ached from the mental gymnastics, and my face hurt from maintaining an impassive expression.

Slowly, I let out a deep breath to calm my racing heart.

Alright, I gave another nonsensical answer, but at least I managed to get through today.

Or did I?

Now that I think about it, calling my answers nonsensical might not be entirely fair. Olivia’s reaction seemed genuinely positive, after all.

Who knows? My random remarks might’ve actually been useful to her in some way.

The important thing is, she found value in my answers.

That’s enough, isn’t it?

Though my conscience pricked at me every time Olivia looked so moved, I consoled myself with the thought: If she’s happy, then I’ve done no wrong.

‘Yeah, I’ve done nothing wrong!’

With that internal mantra, I justified myself.