The Gloomy and Timid Princess Heads to the Academy – Chapter 37

Chapter 38: Unbreakable Bonds

There were always those who claimed there was a difference between loneliness and solitude.

They would say loneliness was harmful, while solitude was beneficial. 

These self-proclaimed sages would go on about how being alone was vital for a healthy life.

But they didn’t truly understand what it meant to be isolated.

They didn’t know the terror of realizing that, one day, you could disappear without anyone noticing, or the despair of knowing tomorrow would be no different from today.

They didn’t understand the feelings of a wooden plank drifting aimlessly, waiting to sink as water slowly eroded it.

That’s why I hated being alone.

That’s why I… just couldn’t bear it.

It had been a day since I lashed out at Dogeon.

I’d been deliberately avoiding him because I didn’t want to seem too easy, but honestly, I was close to caving in.

Even food had lost its flavor, and I could barely stomach my meals. The air itself felt heavier and more suffocating than usual.

No, maybe it wasn’t the air—it was me.

I managed to hold out for a few hours without glancing in his direction, but eventually, I had to admit the truth to myself.

I didn’t want to go back to being alone.

It was purely hypothetical, but what if, during the time I avoided him, he found another girl to charm?

If it happened once, there was nothing stopping it from happening again.

The thought alone made me restless. I couldn’t bear the anxiety.

So I started straining to eavesdrop whenever he talked to someone, watching him with sharp eyes to see where he went and who he met.

I hated myself for acting this way. It was pathetic.

Yet, within an hour of swearing to stop caring, I was already looking for him.

Thankfully, he wasn’t talking to any girls this time. But even watching him talk to another guy annoyed me.

I knew it was irrational, and yet I couldn’t help myself. He was the only person I could truly call my friend.

Even if, to him, I was just one among many friends.

When I snapped back to my senses, I realized my journal was filled with nothing but thoughts about Dogeon. At this point, I couldn’t even call it a proper journal anymore.

Then again, considering I spent the whole day keeping tabs on him, calling it a journal wasn’t inaccurate either.

Still, it wasn’t something I’d want to show my mother. I preferred to write that I was doing just fine, even in this strange land with its warped ley lines and odd air.

I had plenty of time to rewrite it anyway; Mother was likely busy with state affairs.

While I normally used ink, today I found myself using a pencil. Pencils were surprisingly nice.

But what could I write? If I omitted everything about Dogeon, there’d be nothing left to say.

“Attended class and ate meals.” That would sum up my day in one boring sentence. 

I wondered if I should just write fiction instead.

But I didn’t want to write lies either.

It wasn’t lying to call him out for being in heat—that was just withholding certain truths.

Yet, fabricating a story out of whole cloth? That was different. The slightly frayed triangle in my heart told me not to do it.

So, I decided not to write anything.

Mother hadn’t seemed too upset the last time I skipped a day, and this was hardly worth breaking my own resolve over.

Besides, if I wrote about how I’d spent the day chasing after some boy, it’d only irritate Father.

I brushed off the pencil shavings and closed the journal. 

An overwhelming sense of emptiness washed over me. It was a profound boredom I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Life at the academy wasn’t particularly exciting, I realized.

And yet, it was ridiculous how dull it felt just because one person wasn’t by my side.

Though I’d vowed to give him the silent treatment for two days, I wasn’t sure I could last.

After all, I hadn’t made the promise to anyone else. Breaking it wouldn’t really matter, would it?

Yes, that’s right.

A single day of punishment was more than enough. In fact, sticking close to him would be a far heavier punishment for him than for me.

If someone who’d scolded me stayed glued to my side, I’d probably be on edge the whole time.

And tomorrow was the academy’s first weekend, so I planned to spend the day tailing him closely, meddling with his every move.

After everything, there was no way he’d dare look at another girl.

***

Yesterday, I spent the entire day gathering information and discovered that this world had a plant similar to catnip.

An academy-adjacent pet shop sold it, which was frequented by noblewomen. 

The noblewomen part wasn’t particularly important—what mattered was that I could buy it for her.

However, one thing bothered me:

Would it be okay to give something from a pet shop to someone like her?

Presenting a princess with an item meant for animals sounded crazy, but as long as I didn’t disclose where I got it, it should be fine.

If she asked, I could always say I foraged it from the forest.

As I mulled over how to appease her, I remembered my original weekend plans: visiting the bakery with Exipri, sparring with Anastasia, and meeting Gloria at the academy chapel.

None of those would be happening.

This weekend was entirely dedicated to making up with Hoyeon. She deserved it, even if it meant postponing everything else.

Once I stepped outside to buy the gift, though, I ran into Hoyeon herself. That wasn’t part of the plan.

I’d avoided her all day yesterday, so I’d assumed she’d stay out of sight today as well. Clearly, I was wrong.

“…”

Her tail swayed slightly, but she didn’t say anything.

Hoping I was mistaken, I walked past her in silence, but she naturally fell into step beside me.

…Was going to a pet shop really the right move? Still, I couldn’t think of another way to lift her mood.

Even if I asked her what she liked, I doubted she’d tell me.

Feeling uneasy, I carried on. As we approached the pet shop, Hoyeon remained quiet, though her tail continued its gentle swaying.

It was strange. Her tail movements usually meant she was in a good mood, but her expression was still tense. I couldn’t read her at all.

The shop was much larger than I’d expected. I had assumed it would be a small store tucked into a corner, but it occupied an entire building.

Hoyeon tilted her head in curiosity.

“K.C.’s Pet… Supplies? A pet shop? Why are we here?”

She finally broke her silence, her curiosity overriding her previous restraint. I couldn’t be entirely truthful, so I improvised.

“I was thinking of buying some food for stray cats.”

For some reason, that explanation didn’t sit well with her. She frowned slightly.

“I didn’t expect you to have such interests… That’s not ideal. Wild things are most beautiful when left as they are.”

“Oh… I see. Then what about keeping one as a pet?”

“Taking responsibility for it is commendable, but are pets allowed in the dormitory?”

“Yes. As long as their waste is properly managed, the rules permit it.”

So, she doesn’t like cats. Strange, considering she’s part feline herself.

That didn’t change my plans, though. I wasn’t actually planning to keep a cat, but this gave me an excuse to buy the catnip along with the other supplies.

“Very well. If you’re taking it in, I won’t object. But don’t abandon it later.”

“Of course. I won’t let that happen.”

Satisfied, she smiled as we entered the store.

The rumors were true—elegantly dressed noblewomen were inside, showing off their pets. 

I even overheard mentions of baby dragons and drakes, though I chose to ignore those.

While picking up litter, a tray, deodorizer, and food, I loitered near the catnip display, waiting for Hoyeon to get distracted.

When she finally seemed bored or drowsy, I slipped a bag of catnip into my basket.

“Yes, I’ve got everything I need.”

“…Oh? Already? Then let’s go.”

She only noticed after a moment, as if snapping out of a daze. It seemed she hadn’t caught on.

Was she tired from following me around all morning? Either way, it didn’t matter. My plan was proceeding smoothly.